topic All I want in my life is a friend. in Welcome and orientation

All I want in my life is a friend.

jake790 — Fri, 20 Sep 2019 04:51:05 GMT

Hi everyone and thanks for clicking my thread.

Ok so I'm new to typing out something like this so bare with me on this thanks.

Hi my name is Jake and I'm 23 years old turning 24 on October 9th. I joined this forum today because I want to make friends it's been a long time dream of mine the thing is I'm very picky. All my life I have tried to make friends been around social workers growing up they kept putting me into the wrong groups of people which was making my life a living hell as you see I've been bullied at everything I have tried at and where I live when I was young I used to be bashed and because of that I've locked myself inside of my house ALL my life as outside I do not feel comfortable.

The reason I want friends now is because my mother passed away last year from lung cancer and a brain tumor and since then I've been forced to live alone with nobody to talk to and it's been 1 whole year now and it's starting to make me feel very weird about myself. I'm not used to talking to nobody I had my mother for this she kept me happy now... All I feel is sadness / loneliness and depression.

I don't even have online friends I have nobody what so ever. I've attempted to try and get help from Headspace over this but they have pushed me away.

I suffer with a bit of autism and ADHD and I think because of that nobody wants to be my friend heck I've never even experienced love either.

I just don't know how much more longer I can continue living like this. See I can't do anything because 1 - I don't drive / 2 - I'm not familiar with Transport / 3 - I'm always broke because of Shopping and Bills so I can't even get a taxi and 4 - I suffer with back pain so I find it hard to walk and I got this back pain from locking myself away from the outside world.

I've never hurt nobody and I've never treated anyone like garbage. Nobody wants to even give me a chance. A couple of days ago I attempted to try and make friends. The first person who was nice towards me said "No" and the other person I asked blocked me. I couldn't stop crying.

All I want in my life is someone who understands me and can cheer me up. I'm not much of a good looking guy nor do I dress decent doesn't mean I should deal with having no friends.

... By the way is this the right section I post this in? If not sorry.

Thanks for reading.

All I want in my life is a friend.

SammyB — Fri, 20 Sep 2019 05:35:38 GMT

Hi Jake, welcome to the forums.

It’s very brave of you to post your story here. It sounds like it has been very challenging for you to make friends with others who have the same interests. What are you looking for in a friend?

I’m sorry to hear that you have lost your mother, I can’t imagine how upsetting and lonely this time has been for you. It’s great that you have come to the forums to reach out to others, we are here for you. It sounds like there is a lot on your mind at the moment, seeking a circle of support while grieving the loss of your mother, feeling isolated due to not being able to access transportation, and suffering back pain on top of everything else – it may not seem like much, but you are doing your best talking to us here to find your way out of this dark time. You seem like a very strong, genuine and caring person just from reading your post. I hope the community gets to hear from you more, if you feel comfortable. It would also be comforting to know that you have a plan to keep yourself safe. Maybe we can help you plan your weekend?

Thanks for sharing Jake,

Sammy

All I want in my life is a friend.

jake790 — Fri, 20 Sep 2019 07:05:43 GMT

There's not really much I can do as anything "fun" requires money and I'm broke to do anything on the weekend.

What I usually do everyday is I just play on my Laptop or my Xbox One X and I do this every single day. I'm getting really really really bored of both because I have no online friends for both laptop and xbox.

So for the weekend to answer your question there's really nothing to do lol.

About that caring person thing you said let's just say that's wrong. I've had my bumps in life constant arguments with my mother and kind of been a real ass back in the day towards people... tho it was just on the internet not real life as in real life I'm a very shy/nervous person.

I can't even look people in the eye when I talk to them that's been an issue for me for a very long time. When I speak it kinda looks like I'm lying.

So in short I'm a very confusing/weird person to be around.

All I want in my life is a friend.

CalmCat — Fri, 20 Sep 2019 10:00:49 GMT

Hey Jake,

I'm shy, nervous and have ADD - I've had it since 1996 and am going great on my journey of life. You can also!

Find your strengths and stick to them. You'll have a talent or skill like no other, find it harness it and own it!

Even with no money, go to your local library and get 'Borrow Box', find a eBook that will change your life! There are so many out there that will inspire.

Have a great weekend and remember to smile, that's a universal power we can all share with each other.

Regards,

Doz

All I want in my life is a friend.

jake790 — Fri, 20 Sep 2019 21:17:39 GMT

...Yep.

All I want in my life is a friend.

jake790 — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 03:52:19 GMT

So uhh... Any sites out there that I could make friends off? I've been asking around for a while now and not getting much luck. I don't want to spend my 24th birthday on my own 😞

All I want in my life is a friend.

SammyB — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 05:06:09 GMT

Hey Jake, I see your post has moved so apologies for not getting back to you sooner. Just off reading your previous post about not being a caring person - your past actions do not define you as an individual so I hope you can be kind to yourself. We all have experiences where our thoughts and emotions may have got the best of us, but that's just it, they are feelings and emotions, not who we are.

Would you consider introducing yourself on another thread here and see where that takes you? There is the ‘BB Social Zone’ section of the forums that is meant for members interested in socialising with others. Another option is https://www.meetup.com/en-AU have you heard of it? MeetUp offers opportunities to connect and join groups in your local area – there may even be an activity of interest to you for your birthday. Hope this is helpful.

Sammy

All I want in my life is a friend.

jake790 — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 05:16:57 GMT

I can't do MeetUp most events I find on that site are far out of my area and since me not knowing how to use transport properly I can't use the site and I can't pay for taxi rides due to money issues.

Believe me I'd love to give it a go. I keep getting emails about new events being made from Meetup... The thing is I'm a very shy person so I can't do face to face directly.

My idea is to get to know someone on the internet for a few weeks to a few months maybe a year so I can get comfortable with the person I'm speaking with and since hardly none of these meetup groups do this it's not an option for me as they want it to be a direct meetup hence the name of it anyway... so yeah.

About that section you mentioned I was kinda hoping this thread would find me someone to be friends with as all my life I've always been the first person to start conversations and I ALWAYS get pushed away and that hurts me the most in my life so I'll just wait until someone who's interested to get to know me from this thread... it could take days/weeks/months but I can wait it out as I've already waited years so it doesn't matter.

All I want in my life is a friend.

Sophie_M — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 05:34:02 GMT

Hi jake790,

Welcome to the forums. Just jumping in to remind you that we do not permit members to make offline contact with each other. If you feel up to it we'd encourage you to continue to reach out to others on the forums for support about what you are going through as it is quite likely that others can relate to your journey. We hope to see you around.

All I want in my life is a friend.

SammyB — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 05:59:22 GMT

Is it possible that this is something that you can work towards? What I mean is, if you’re not concerned too much about meeting someone within a specific time-frame, could joining a group in the community be a goal that you set for yourself? And because you have already taken the time to join the forums maybe you can use this space to challenge yourself to reach out to others? (when you’re ready). I understand how frustrating and hurtful it can be to feel like you’re always the one starting a conversation or being pushed away but I think that is something a lot of us here can relate to experiencing - maybe this can be a fresh start? Just some thoughts.

Sammy

All I want in my life is a friend.

Seadragon17 — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 08:34:07 GMT

Hi Jake790

I think it is great that you have reached out. Online is a great way to chat to people and there are so many chats online you could get involved with and feel connected to people without even leaving the house. How might you feel about searching up your interests and seeing what is out there? It is really easy to chat about things you like and you will be amongst people of the same interest and you will learn even more about your interests and teach others too.
But what is also good is that you write so well and reading your posts would help so many people. You are really gifted at getting your feelings across and that isn’t always easy for others to do.

I know it isn’t easy but maybe you could try simply trying to talk to others about their issues because I think in doing that you will feel so helpful and useful and see that you really do have the ability to communicate brilliantly. I really do mean that. Just writing out your feelings and talking to others to try to help them might help you to channel your feelings and see beyond them. I think you have so much to offer and I wonder if you are being held down by memories and old experiences that are tarnishing you from moving forward.

All I want in my life is a friend.

Seadragon17 — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 08:36:20 GMT

Jake790 use your talent. In a roundabout way our experiences help us to learn and grow - negative and positive experiences both teach us, and you are certainly a great communicator even if you think you aren’t in person. Writing can be so helpful to people. I think you might find a real niche in helping others.

I don’t mean to try to tell you what to be but can you just try to write down at least one thing each day that you have enjoyed about being you. It might be hard but you need to be your biggest champion. Once you believe in yourself you can be anything you want to be - don’t believe what others have said about you in the past. Crazy thing is - people tend to believe you when you talk about you or act negatively about you. You need to write down at least one thing each day that you do well or like about you and then gather these things up at the end of the week and be proud of them. When you start writing things down that are positive it does get easier. Everyone thinks they aren’t good at things or that they are simply not good enough at times but we can be our absolute worst friend. Try to be kind to yourself.

I am very socially awkward when I am simply me but when I go to work and have to get a job done I can act like I am a different person. I can look confident and act confident and chat away to people. I have to be like that in my job, but isn’t it weird that I can be something else when I am away from work - see we really are just what we believe we are.

I have loved reading your post because you are so clever at communicating. Look after yourself and change your future - tell yourself that you are worth it and act like it when you are talking to others (even if inside you are not 100% sure of your confidence). It just gets easier. It is hard to believe but you can change yourself and the way you have been made to think of yourself. Your conversations alone show me you are worth it.