topic I can't cope with quiet in Welcome and orientation

I can't cope with quiet

Tiger101 — Thu, 27 Jun 2019 01:01:54 GMT

I am having so much trouble with anxiety in my home, I have a terrible tendency to not be able to handle certain noises yet not be able to handle no noice at the same time. I live in quite a stressful environment with 4 children that aren't mine, 3 dogs and 3 cats that live in my room. The noice of the children can really stress me out so much to the point that I can't go to the bathroom or eat properly and I feel like im panicking and can get very upset. However even when the house is quiet I feel panicked. If I have a bath I can not turn the water off at all because I can't handle not hearing the sound of the water running. I empty it and refill and empty and refill and I know its so wasteful but I cant stop myself. When I am lying in bed and the house is quiet at night in just my room I turn on the electric heater, the aircon and the fan all at once because I will panic without hearing them running. If I am sitting in my room right now I have a movie playing that I am not even watching just to hear a noise in the background.

I am well aware that because I have always lived in a small and very chaotic household that I most likely am comfortable with hearing noises and that is why I always have to be hearing something but it really is getting to the point where it is bothering me all day every day, I am so unhappy, I have a very very high stress life and am stuck in stressful relationships that I can't escape. I am so so uncomfortable with the noise problems that I gave, its like if I hear the wrong sounds I panic but if I hear no sound I panic too. I don't want to be like that all the time I really don't understand why I can never sit comfortably in silence or be okay with hearing the children play.

Please help me understand, I thought I might be noice sensitive but then no noise freaks me out too and I don't understand how I can feel both of those or how I can control them.

I can't cope with quiet

romantic_thi3f — Thu, 27 Jun 2019 01:24:11 GMT

Hi Tiger101,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post. I'm sorry that you're struggling with this and especially sorry because this sounds like a lot of this is out of your control.

One of the things I was thinking about reading your post is around the predictability and control of the sounds that bring you comfort/freak you out. The noise of the children that make you panic are also quite random - there's no way to control that noise, it can be very loud and very unpredictable. Silence is also the same, in the sense that it can be broken at anytime.

The noises that seem to help, like the TV, the heater, the aircon, the fan and the water - they're all noises that you can control and they're all predictable. When you turn the air-con or heater on, they're on until you power them off. The water especially - as this is such a sensory thing where you can feel it start/stop and have all the control into that noise.

Does this resonate with you or make sense at all? I hope it helps.

I can't cope with quiet

Tiger101 — Thu, 27 Jun 2019 01:51:52 GMT

It really does make sense when you put it like that, I do have control over those noises but I always just looked at it as if its just another noise issue that I have.

What could this mean, could it mean that I may have some noice sensitivity and that me having control over those noises is actually something that helps me feel as though I do have some control in a household in which I have none?

I really appreciate your response its really nice to be able to speak to someone about it without feeling like im crazy and to be able to get an outsiders perspective

I can't cope with quiet

romantic_thi3f — Fri, 28 Jun 2019 02:44:25 GMT

Hi Tiger101,

You're very welcome, I'm glad that my post was helpful and gave you another perspective.

Potentially that could be the case. Generally when I think of noise sensitivity I think of people being uncomfortable with noise, where as it sounds like for you it's beyond uncomfortable - sending you into panic. I wonder what's going through your mind when you hear those noises and start panicking? Other than it being too loud, is there anything else? When you said "having control in a household where I have none", it makes me wonder where else you might not have control too - which might link in with that anxiety. Just a thought.

I can't cope with quiet

romantic_thi3f — Fri, 28 Jun 2019 02:56:29 GMT

Hi Tiger101,

I just thought that I'd mention another thing that came to mind. There are other ways that you can listen to calming noises that are a bit easier - like smartphone apps or websites.

A lot of the apps are free and designed for people to either relax or sleep. Some apps also allow you to record your own sound and play it on a loop too.

If you don't like apps, there's also this website which is free to use - https://www.noisli.com/

They have lots of different sounds including a fan and water dripping, which I know helps. It's a bit easier and also much cheaper for you!

Hopefully this helps,