topic Wow first timer in Welcome and orientation

Wow first timer

Guest_093 — Mon, 22 Oct 2018 05:33:14 GMT

My first post which has taken me a long long time to write here. Different things have happened like forgetting my password so many times, getting involved in my not staying in my present mind. Having depression, anxiety, trying to deal with life, work and homelife and being this negative person for so long as far back as I remember. And now wanting to feel better and being impatient that it is not happening and at times feeling that I am doing nothing to make it happen, being so caught up with what is going and listening to what is in my head and not being strong enough to control it instead it is controlling me. Reading about strategies to use or sites to look at and forgetting to do it, or look at it a couple of times and then forgetting about it, I cannot seem to relax and unwind, I am allways doing stuff and racing around doing it and I absolutely and totally love coffee, I try to limit myself to 3 cups a day and have to really push myself to sit there and enjoy it and sip it slowly, my husband and housemate say I am very angry woman and will lash out and say something when they think there is really nothing to lash out about, in other words I think and say the worst. I am seeing a therapist and have 1 tomorrow the 1st one in a month. I am trying not to ramble on so much being my first post it seems I am just letting the words flow and trying to control my physical mannerisms and nerves I want very much to stay in control and be a better/happier person than I was yesterday,

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Croix — Mon, 22 Oct 2018 13:13:57 GMT

Dear Spitfire1~

Welcome here to the Forum. I can't find you other 3 posts either, so we are both in the same boat.

Reading that post it strikes me you are rushing, popping down tons of words. True it is all there, you have depression and anxiety, you have a tendency to lash out and don't follow through on things that might help. Plus you are discouraged and look on the negative side.

But you are also a person who goes to work as well as things at home. So a capable person too. You are also under treatment and have come here too in an effort to improve matters.

I'll only talk about one thing at the moment, slowing your thoughts and trying to control them, rather than the other way around.

I've used a free smartphone app called Smiling Mind for a fair while now. It takes practices to start with and builds up from a minute or so to as long as you like. It actually does work. With that practice you send your mind out of that anxious or frantic loop. Amazingly the length of time it stays better behaved increases over time too.

You can switch the music off, which is a blessing:)

I guess that's enough for one post.

You are welcome here anytime, good luck with the councilor.

Croix

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Guest_093 — Tue, 23 Oct 2018 13:14:20 GMT

Hi Croix thanks for your supporting advice I really need it right now, I saw my councillor today and she gave me a couple of things to start off with. First - start a walk on my days off, join a local group, and start the day when I first wake up with 3 deep breaths in and out before even getting out of bed and going out for a coffee aaahhh lol, and continue throughout the day @ 3 different time slots so the buildup of stress and anxiety is not so high and I can start to maintain it to a healthy level. So I am excited about your use of the free smartphone app called Smiling Mind, how can I get it, and where, do I download from my phone/onto my phone, sorry the brain has gone into overdrive again, i am trying to find strategies to help myself become a better person and thank you for the welcome mat.

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geoff — Tue, 23 Oct 2018 16:37:55 GMT

Hello Spitfire, it's not easy to post your first comment, because at first, you may edit it, then sit on it, perhaps delete only wishing you had posted it, I know it can be difficult to do, but pleased you have done it.

If I could tell you, and sorry Croix for interfering, but you can download the app for Smiling Mind on your phone or computer.

Being depressed as well as anxious creates negative thoughts that stop you moving forward, that's not your fault, it's nobody's fault when they are suffering, but when you are caught up in this illness it's so hard to comprehend any help strategies unless you have the support and confidence from others.

It's great you're seeing a counselling and please take one day at a time.

Remember you can't be angry and laugh at the same time.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

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Guest_093 — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 00:35:28 GMT

thanks mate your supporting words do make a difference and yes I am now just taking 1 day @ a time, this morning when I woke I did my 3 big in/out breaths and filled my lungs with good air, although did not feel any different but felt good that I had least made a attempt. thankyou for info about Smiling Minds app will look for it later today. Have a awesome day everyone.

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geoff — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 17:51:38 GMT

Hello Spitfire, please remember that we are always here for you, we know it not always easy, one day we feel good then the next day it may all come crashing, that's what this illness has the ability to do.

Take care.

Geoff.

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Guest_093 — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 01:44:36 GMT

Hi Croix,Geoff and everyone, last night i downloaded and put onto my phone the free app Smiling Mind, I yet to start it, will try it later this arvo, when I first woke up, the brain started into overdrive again of all the things that i wanted to do today so stopped right there and took 3 breaths in and 3 breaths out and yesterday @ work practised my deep breathing exercise whenever I could and did it even when serving customer but discreetly and blow me down it was working, felt a lot better when I had finished all my other tasks and was heading home, i am very grateful to have a casual job and be working where I am, that is 1 reason why I asked to be there because of trying to deal with the shit that was being dealt out @ the other shop, I did speak to the boss this morning and she calmed my fears a bit, did have a troubled sleep according to hubby, so trying to do the job @ my shop must have been on my mind last night but the boss calmed me and understands that it will take a couple of weeks to get everything togeather to do my job and she did not get a phone call from the security about the alarm not being set so I have conquered that yay, yay . I feel a little more relaxed about everything and had a wonderful chat with hubby this morning which I loved. So now I am going to clean the gravel in my fishbabies tank. Do have a awesome day everyone!!!!!

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geoff — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 22:25:20 GMT

Hello Spitfire, I'm pleased but when your brain goes into overdrive, take a step back, you can't do everything all at once and remember you can't push yourself too quickly, it takes time, in other words, it progresses as fast as you can cope with it.

It's great to hear back from you.

Geoff.

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Croix — Fri, 26 Oct 2018 12:20:57 GMT

Dear Spitfire1~

One of the hardest things I found to start wiht was to step outside myself and realize what was happening - that I was having an anxiety attack. The fact you thought to do breath control to help at the time is a big step, it took me ages to get to that stage.

From then on finding the most effective thing to do was neither quick nor easy, but was possible, and ultimately does lead to feeling a whole lot better.

I'm pleased you found Smiling Mind. If you are like me you need to practice when you are good, the short 2 minute exercise is plenty to start with, and even that does become surprisingly effective, though going on to the longer exercises is good when you can.

Anything that give you control.

Croix

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geoff — Fri, 26 Oct 2018 14:24:30 GMT

Hello Spitfire, can I ask you if you have been diagnosed with depression and/or anxiety?

The reason I ask is only so I can help support you more effectively.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

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Guest_093 — Sun, 27 Jan 2019 07:04:35 GMT

hey Geoff I did not realise that you had posted a reply on my 1st post here, my bad- & yes I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, depression I have had suffered for a very long time the anxiety diagnosis is something relatively new to me so I have my good days and my bad days so what more can I say? I do spend a lot of time out of touch with reality which is very hard for me to control, so if anyone has any strategies I could use, I would be grateful. Cathy

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Croix — Sun, 27 Jan 2019 10:37:35 GMT

Dear cAthy~

Anxiety for me can lead to me thinking things are not as they really are, and maybe that is what you mean by "out of touch with reality". I'll imaging the outcome of something is going to be much worse than it really is for example, or that someone is saying something aimed at me when it is nothing of the sort.

It's hard to get perspective and discount these thoughts. Experience helps, when I remember previous similar events and how they ended up, as opposed to how I thought they would at the time. I find talking with my partner is the best thing. She is used to the way my mind works and can usually point out what realy is likely.

So is there someone who can do the same for you? I know you said your husband and housemate felt you were lashing out, can you turn it into a more productive time? If they tend to think you are over-reacting to some small matter can they be persuaded to discuss it with you an a friendly manner?

Croix

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Croix — Sun, 27 Jan 2019 10:39:59 GMT

P.S.
Sorry for the typo in your name. I normally make many in a single post and don't always pick all of them up until too late 😞
-C

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blondguy — Sun, 27 Jan 2019 11:55:58 GMT

Hi Cathy!

I just found the other thread topic you posted......and its also a great thread topic too 🙂 I have the copy & paste link below for you

www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/feeling-mentally-physically-unwell

Since this is your original thread topic...Is it okay if we stick with 'Wow First Timer'? There is heaps of caring members that have posted here for you

Happy belated Australia Day Cathy 🙂

my kind thoughts

Paul

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geoff — Sun, 27 Jan 2019 22:22:13 GMT

Hi Cathy, thanks for getting back to us and for your recognition of me.

Anxiety disorders can affect your ability to do so many things in life, and everyone is different in what makes them anxious, and how they respond to treatment, I don't think they can be the same, maybe in general, but not specifically.

Can I give you a link that may help you, just copy and paste it and place it in your search bar,

-https://thiswayup.org.au/how-do-you-feel/worried/

I hope this maybe of some interest to you, but please take your time and read it a bit at a time.

Best Wishes.

Geoff.

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Guest_093 — Mon, 28 Jan 2019 06:55:05 GMT

hi Croix yes I do not really understand what is happening or most of the time when it does happen, when hubby notices that it is happening to me, he will put his hand on my shoulder, most of the time that brings me out of it or gently says hello to me from across the room that generally works too, but Croix he cannot be with me 24/7 although he would love to be, this ootwr happens at work too and it is bloody hard to control whilst there the other staff can see that there is something 'wrong' with me but do not know what to do about it, I have yet to tell them that I have a mental illness for the reason being of having them not understanding I suppose it is especially harder to control when I am in the coldroom by myself am getting there!!! The way I could explain it is I seem to drift off into another world so to speak where I hear or respond to no-one else, does that make sense to you. Enough of my dribble for now?? Cheers Cathy

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Croix — Mon, 28 Jan 2019 11:32:45 GMT

Dear Spitfire !1~

You are not dribbling, far from it, you are discussing the problems life has handed you, which is as it should be.

I understand what you mean by drifting off, and if it is like me the world you go to is consumed with unpleasant thoughts., and it does leave one isolated from your surround and the people in it. It was a failing of mine to be quite annoyed or resentful when brought out of it even though it was not a nice place to be. Not logical I know.

Is there anything in particular about the coldroom that would be a bother? I've expereiced some where exit is not straightforward.

Actually telling those at work is a bit of a mixed bag. It does have the benefit that others may understand and actually try to help, however it is very hard to predict everyone's reactions. Is there one particular person you have confidence in? That might be a possibility.

I think you are doing an excellent thing by holding down that job under the circumstances. It may be hard, but if you look at what you endure it is a series of victories.

Have you considered a photo of your husband on your phone or in your bag? It may help you remember his presence when you need it. Those breathing techniques sound useful too.

Croix

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geoff — Mon, 28 Jan 2019 15:48:13 GMT

Hi Cathy, it's always difficult to know if or should you tell the other staff members about what you are struggling with, simply for one good reason, they interrupt you with their own story or repeat what was just said, 'oh I know how you feel, I've had the
same thing happens to me,' and then start to turn the conversation around to them.

This is when they miss what you have just said and don't understand your message and drift off and start listening to themselves rather to what you are saying.

There will always be someone who says they have had it worse than you.

What they need to do is appreciate what you are saying, because to you, this is very important, it starts to open up your private life.

If you are worried and go into the coolroom your cold hands and face make you much more anxious, especially as it's a very small confined space.

Take care Cathy.

Geoff.

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Guest_093 — Tue, 29 Jan 2019 09:05:39 GMT

hi everyone yes Geoff I think you nailed it with speaking to others about my mental illness @ work, that they do not understand that I am opening myself up about a private part of who I am and how important it is to me to do that to able to trust that person in doing that, but unfortunately I feel that if my story been told to that 1 trustful soul that I have put my faith into in the first place,will spread that confidential word and soon word will get around the shop like wildfire to what has been said to the first person, I do have trust issues with the ppl @ work & have been hurt in the past with idle gossip in the workplace, the thing is I seem to be missing out on life when my head goes haywire as it does I do withdraw within myself so make no effort to get out of it. As being mentioned before to me I think I need to be persistent, patient and not so hard on myself, these qualities I have not learnt as of yet! I had another leg fallout earlier this morning not as bad as the other morning where I face planted the floor, this time the legs were really wobbly and felt unstable on my feet but managed to not face plant from bathroom to bedroom AAANNNNDDDD I did take a 1/2 tablet last night before going to bed so I think's again this is my issue, this med I am taking, am going to see dr. and ask for a referral to councillor and chat about above happening problem. I feel very vague, sleepy and foggy headed today, do not know if from med or just having a plain old bad day, had a unsettled night sleep, kicked hubby in legs a couple of times no hurty to him so something is amiss still! I will have early night for sleep and yes I did have a funny photo on my old phone of hubby to look @ but cannot seem to transfer same photo from computer to new phone, that is another time for me to worry about, not now. Thanks for listening everyone you are all awesome!!! Cheers Spitfire1

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geoff — Tue, 29 Jan 2019 15:00:33 GMT

Hey Spitfire, good to hear back from you.

Rumours do spread like wildfire like if you say to someone you had this awful dream about such and such, by the time it goes around about 20 people, goodness knows what the dream was about, and it can still start even with your number 1 friend, it's blown way out of proportion.

Try not to be too hard on yourself, remember it's still delicate days and try not to compare yourself to others and don't underrate your talent, stay positive and take good care of yourself.

Geoff.