topic First post and frightened. I hope I do it right in Welcome and orientation

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

Sueetties — Tue, 16 Oct 2018 01:13:38 GMT

Hello

this is my first post. As I promised my psychologist, I would sign up at beyond blue and start a new post. So I am making it now. Yet I feel nervous and frightened here.

It seems to be really big place and lots of people joining. I am new to any kind of forum like this and I have been “friend” for a little while with something nasty known as depression + anxiety. So my psychologist wants me to dive in and join the discussion here as a part of my recovery. I need to make at least 5 posts before I see her in 3 weeks! So here I am my first post. I hope I do it right.

thank you very much for reading

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

Mike_7597 — Tue, 16 Oct 2018 02:06:34 GMT

Hi Sueetties

first of all, good job on sticking to your promise and taking the leap here. I am also very new to beyond blue but it has been very beneficial to me. I also struggle with depression and its comforting to know that there are others out there who understand what you're going through

I hope you have a good day 🙂

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

romantic_thi3f — Tue, 16 Oct 2018 02:12:26 GMT

Hi Sueetties,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us! You did it perfectly 🙂

As far as I know, I don't think there's such thing as a 'wrong post' - people just write what feels right for them. You might like to talk about what's going on and your experiences, or anything that interests you or ask questions. It's just about what feels right for you and what might be helpful.

Here's some of the other sections that you might find useful -

Anxiety https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety

Depression https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/depression

Social zone (movies, books, quotes, jokes etc) https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone

Staying well https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well

Feel free to let us know how we can help and make things easier! I've been here for a little while and there's a lovely bunch of people here.

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

Summer Rose — Tue, 16 Oct 2018 11:43:09 GMT

Hi Sueetties

Congratulations on making your first post! You did just fine and should be proud of yourself.

I started visiting the forum at the start of this year. I remember feeling nervous and a little unsure just like you but it gets easier. Please know that you have arrived at a place of kindness and support.

Now that you have started this thread you can use it as little or as much as you want. You can ask questions, share experiences or just express how you are feeling in the moment. There is no pressure.

I really hope you stick with it, as I have found it really helps to communicate with others that understand what you're going through.

You matter. Your recovery matters. And you are welcome always.

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

quirkywords — Tue, 16 Oct 2018 20:56:05 GMT

Sueetties,

I too welcome you to the forum. you can tell by the friendly replies you have had so far that this this is a friendly and caring place.

You can post on this thread as much as you like and as romantic has suggested look at some other threads and maybe join in there.

I was a member of the forum for nearly 2 years before actually looking at the forums and posting as it all seemed so difficult. once you make the first past as you have it does become easier as everyone is so supportive.

I learn something every time I read another post. I can see how determined you are and how well you have done to make your first post.

You are not alone and there people here to support you.

Quirky .

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

geoff — Tue, 16 Oct 2018 21:42:02 GMT

Hi Sueetties, a warm welcome to you as well as to Mike.

This site is friendly one with people who have struggled through their own depression and some are still doing it tough, but have generously donated their assistance as well to try and help those who post in with some type of depression/anxiety.

You won't be criticised but helped by offering advice from our own experiences, suggestions, and places to contact.

The BB cafe is a place where people talk about anything, it's jovial section and there can be a few laughs, so visit it and see what you think.

Try not to feel as though these 5 posts are going to be a chore, all we want to do is help you get better.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

Sueetties — Wed, 17 Oct 2018 01:28:23 GMT

Thank you so much for welcoming me here and I really appreciate all your kind words and lovely supports.

I will find a seat and start exploring some other sections shortly. I hope I can find a sense of direction by seeing how other people are doing and managing etc. I hope to un-friend the nasty thing one day.

It took me a great deal of energy to make my first post. So I really feel pressured to write 5 posts, not easy to do all in one go. I will do one baby-step at a time.

Again i am thankful to know that i come to a safe place meeting nice people.

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

quirkywords — Wed, 17 Oct 2018 20:59:35 GMT

Sueetties

Thanks formyour reply, that’s post no 2.

As you say just baby steps and if you fill ok you can keep posting on your thread as it is a place you can write what you like. You can see it as a conversation with friends.

Hopefully now you have written 2 posts you won’t feel the pressure as much.

Wel done as many people find it hard to write the first post and now you have written 2.

Take care

Quirky

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

White_Rose — Wed, 17 Oct 2018 21:33:17 GMT

Dear Sueetties

Hello and welcome. Thanks and congratulations for your post and for getting past your fears. It can feel overwhelming for the first few posts. I hope you settle in soon.

Did your psychologist say why he thought this would be good for you? I started writing here at the suggestion of a psychologist in 2014 and have been here ever since. Like you I only wrote on my thread for a while but so many people welcomed me, including Geoff who wrote above, that I ventured into other threads and found there were lots of people who felt like me and had their experiences of depression and knew how I felt. Amazing.

You have been here two days and already you have written two posts as well as starting this thread. That's awesome. Tell us what you would like to talk about and you will be chatting here as though it has been happening forever.

Looking forward to your next post.

Mary

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

Sueetties — Sat, 20 Oct 2018 01:29:29 GMT

Good morning,

Thanks for allowing me to be a part of the forum. I have read some threads as suggested. its quite heart-breaking to see some people who are struggling deeply in their mental issues just like me.

My psychologist declared that beyond blue is my only support group and she reiterated that its safe to join in the discussion. The fact is that I am in denial about my mental health problem. I haven’t told anyone (including my family) that I have been seeing a psychologist and on medication etc （been 3 mths). I have been keeping all the scripts, referral letters, medication, blood test results into my own drawer and locked it. My family doesn’t know. But I think in some ways they can tell by my behaviours. My GP has been pushing me to speak up but I refused and I was even reluctant to start meds at the beginning. She’s a bit angry with me indeed (just saw her yesterday) but I don’t have the courage to open up this topic with other people and I suffer a lot as a result.

So this is me, waving for help. I find it very hard to deal with.... it’s good I can’t write something here without disclosing my name

I would appreciate if any advice anyone who care please tell me. Thank you

yes I feel better after the first post done. This week has been really hard for me particularly the visit to my GP yesterday. She is a bit tough and pushy. I addressed my mental heath problem.

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

Summer Rose — Sat, 20 Oct 2018 09:56:29 GMT

Hi Sueetties

Congrats on your third post.

I think there are many reasons a person may choose to keep their mental health condition private. For example, fear of judgement, not wanting to worry others, not wanting to talk about it all the time, fear of a negative reaction, etc.

You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to or you're just not ready to deal with it. Having said that, no one can help you if they don't know what's going on.

My daughter was 13 when she fell ill with OCD and anxiety. She would not have reached recovery without family love and care. It was hard for her to tell everyone, particularly her older brother, but by letting us all in she got vital support.

Before my daughter fell ill we never talked about mental health in our family. Now it's an open, daily conversation. We have greater undetstanding and empathy for each other and we lean on each other when things are tough. We all benefit from talking things through.

Every family is different but it's something to think about. Maybe you could test the waters by confiding in one family member and see how it goes. Just a thought.

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

White_Rose — Sat, 20 Oct 2018 22:53:34 GMT

Hello Sueetties

You are getting ahead in leaps and bounds. Many congratulations for reading other posts and realising many others share your difficulties.

Denial is a place I have been in so many times. For me it has always been fear of admitting I am not perfect. Yes I know I am part of the human race and none of us is perfect so it sounds silly to hide when I am just like everyone else. Maybe it's because I did not want to admit yet another imperfection. These days I am more upfront but I do understand how hard it is to admit, even to ourselves, that we have an illness. And that's what it is, an illness.

My last GP who I absolutely believe is wonderful was also very tough when it was necessary. However I also knew she wanted me to get well and was helping me as much as I would allow. I still see her for my mental health stuff and she still gets tough at times. It's their job.

One aspect of keeping this information to yourself is missing out on support as Summer Rose has already said. It's more than getting support though. It's the way our minds process all the information and constantly think about it. This is where we tend to exaggerate its effect, imagine the response we will get from others no matter how much they love us, feel like the worst person for becoming unwell, and generally beating ourselves up.

Once we can actually say these words our thinking changes. When we talk we keep to the subject in general but in our minds we include all sorts feelings and incidents and these magnify the situation talking doom and gloom. May I suggest you keep a journal? Write whatever you think and feel but once the day's entry has been made do not go back to read or to change. You can go back to read after a month or two and I think you will be surprised. So make it a daily habit to put down your feelings, comments from other, what your GP and psychologist say. In fact everything that is happening.

You can choose to share it with your psych or GP if you wish but it is meant for you only. Get a notebook and write in that. Keeping a record on the computer makes it too easy to delete or change. It will give you a perspective of the past and hopefully show how much you are healing.

Are you meeting with your psych soon? Hope it goes well.

Mary

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

Rose_3 — Sun, 21 Oct 2018 11:21:41 GMT

Hi Sueetties,

Well done on posting! It is great that you had the courage to do this. I am new to Beyond Blue too and I am so amazed at how friendly and kind everyone is.

I wish you all the best! Good luck for your future posts!

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

Sueetties — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 01:43:52 GMT

Thanks everyone for the thoughtful responses and advice. This will mark my 5th post. I have written one in other thread. I feel so motivated this week.

Summer Rose:-

I try to be honest to myself and yes it’s the self critic within my head which stops me from getting supports from others. The fear of getting negative reactions maybe the culprit

White Rose:-

i will definitely get a notebook and start writing my journal. I am well aware that it’s unrealistic if I just keep it myself. I am also practising mindfulness and breathing exercises daily

Rose 3:

thanks for your reply. I hope you feel welcome to the forum too. I found that reading other posts is helpful too. Have a great day.

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

quirkywords — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 05:01:07 GMT

Suettie,

Well done for making 5 posts.

I also find it whimsical that you managed to get three roses to reply in a row.

Is that a first for BB?

A journal is a great idea and don't pressure yourself to write every day, just when you want to and you will probably find you want to write very frequently.

There are threads like 3 things to be grateful for etc which you can uses if you feel stuck about how to start or one day you don't know what to write.

Mindfulness is useful and there is a thread called What is mindfulness where people write about how they may struggle with it or what works for them.

Take care

Quirky

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

Summer Rose — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 05:21:55 GMT

Hi again

You reached your original goal, congrats.

I understand the fear of negative reactions. I reckon there are three types of people in this world with regards to mental health: those that get it, those that want to get it and those that will never get it.

When my daughter chose to disclose her mental health condition to various family members and friends I supported her. She didn't always get the reaction she needed. She chose to focus on the kind, loving, supportive people she did have in this world and, if necessary, help them to understand OCD and not dwell on the others.

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

Sarah_Leslie — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 08:49:02 GMT

Nicely done, Sueetie. Your post and the replies are lovely. I only just now joined and it was nice to sign on and see this thread. Looking forward to being and contributing to this community.

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

Rose_3 — Wed, 24 Oct 2018 09:01:05 GMT

Hi Sueetties,

Congratulations on reaching your posting goal! Well done, that is fantastic! You can be very proud of yourself for being so courageous!

On the topic of writing a journal, I have been writing a diary/journal on and off for years and have only recently managed to keep up with more regular entries. It is a great idea! I find it very helpful to organise my thoughts and I can doodle and decorate the pages however I want without any pressure. And I love notebooks, I literally have more than 20, maybe 30... maybe more...

So any excuse for a nice notebook and set of pens (oh I love pens too!) has got to be good for you. I hope keeping a journal helps you, and do not feel pressured to write in it everyday, it takes time (for me years) for it to become a part of your daily routine. And remember to try and have fun with it! It can be anyway you wish it to be.

All the best, Rose

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

White_Rose — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 04:07:07 GMT

Hello Sarah

A very warm welcome to the forum. Glad you joined up. As Sueetties has said, there are many people with similar difficulties which you may want to write to or perhaps start your own thread, or both.

I look forward to meeting you on other threads.

Mary

First post and frightened. I hope I do it right

White_Rose — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 04:33:00 GMT

Hello Sueetties

Good to hear from you.Great that you are going to start writing in your journal. When I was writing I just poured out everything that was going on. I did not even have the idea of showing it to anyone but as time went on I did show selected bits to the psychiatrist. The biggest plus was in looking back after a while and seeing how far I had come.

Some of the entries that seemed so important at the time I had not remembered until I re-read my entries. Quite a surprise. I also discovered that some the hurtful memories had faded over time and the fears and anger I had described had largely gone. A bit like looking at old photos and seeing your self as a child or teenager and giggling at the changes. Journals can be so helpful.

Congratulations on reaching your goal. Have you talked to your psychologist about your accomplishment yet? I hope she is suitably impressed as much as the people on BB. Well done. Don't go away and leave us. I think you are comfortable here and we are always handy to respond and chat.

Mindfulness and breathing exercises, terrific. While I meditate I draw the line at exercise. (If I had the skills I would post a smiley face). I am supposed to go for walks three times per week but I can always find excuses. This is not something I can choose to do or not. I really need to get a little more fit. Tomorrow!

Mary