https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/welcome-and-orientation/my-story/m-p/410349#M21353 <P>Hi, just signed up.</P> <P>I am 46 years old with a history of depression. I am in the horrible grip of it at the moment and my usual medication wasn't helping, so my GP doubled my dose, all this did was make me put on 20 more kilos and make me feel worse. I went back down to my regular dose and have started seeing a phycologist and will see a phychatrist soon for help with my medication. So I am getting help, I just feel hopeless and think nothing will work because I think things are so bad especially my situation. I have two boys 18 and 19 from my first marriage. My 19 year old has high functioning autism and schizoaffective disorder, he has no work, no licence and no concept of helping himself. I have done many things to help him, but I am empty, I have given up and have nothing left to give him. My 18 year old finished high school with great marks, but is working a labouring job, to get a car and decide what he wants to do, he is in that drinking stage on the weekends, which freaks me out. I have a 6 year old girl With my husband of 8 years, he has no other children, she is bright and very clingy to me. I work in disability care (shift work) I feel so trapped and alone. I love my husband very much. We moved into his home when I fell pregnant, it is basically his family home on a large property and I hate it. It needs so much work and my husband has a full on job and no time to do what needs doing to get it ready to sell. He seems to have no concept on how living here for so long has affected me. I feel like I have the weight of his old life hanging around my neck. He can't make a decision or commit to finding away out of here. I know nothing will change and I feel like I need to leave to get better with my mental health. I am trying to get better, but I am so not myself, I have no desire to do anything. The only answer I see is to break up my family and quit my job and work on getting better. I feel that that is the only way that I will feel happy and free again. But how can I even do this when some days I just can't get out of bed? </P> <P> </P> <P> </P> Mon, 01 Apr 2019 06:59:24 GMT Arty13 2019-04-01T06:59:24Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/welcome-and-orientation/my-story/m-p/410349#M21353 <P>Hi, just signed up.</P> <P>I am 46 years old with a history of depression. I am in the horrible grip of it at the moment and my usual medication wasn't helping, so my GP doubled my dose, all this did was make me put on 20 more kilos and make me feel worse. I went back down to my regular dose and have started seeing a phycologist and will see a phychatrist soon for help with my medication. So I am getting help, I just feel hopeless and think nothing will work because I think things are so bad especially my situation. I have two boys 18 and 19 from my first marriage. My 19 year old has high functioning autism and schizoaffective disorder, he has no work, no licence and no concept of helping himself. I have done many things to help him, but I am empty, I have given up and have nothing left to give him. My 18 year old finished high school with great marks, but is working a labouring job, to get a car and decide what he wants to do, he is in that drinking stage on the weekends, which freaks me out. I have a 6 year old girl With my husband of 8 years, he has no other children, she is bright and very clingy to me. I work in disability care (shift work) I feel so trapped and alone. I love my husband very much. We moved into his home when I fell pregnant, it is basically his family home on a large property and I hate it. It needs so much work and my husband has a full on job and no time to do what needs doing to get it ready to sell. He seems to have no concept on how living here for so long has affected me. I feel like I have the weight of his old life hanging around my neck. He can't make a decision or commit to finding away out of here. I know nothing will change and I feel like I need to leave to get better with my mental health. I am trying to get better, but I am so not myself, I have no desire to do anything. The only answer I see is to break up my family and quit my job and work on getting better. I feel that that is the only way that I will feel happy and free again. But how can I even do this when some days I just can't get out of bed? </P> <P> </P> <P> </P> Mon, 01 Apr 2019 06:59:24 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/welcome-and-orientation/my-story/m-p/410349#M21353 Arty13 2019-04-01T06:59:24Z https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/welcome-and-orientation/my-story/m-p/410350#M21354 <P>Hi Arty, welcome</P> <P>You have a lot on your plate! Your depression would also make you impatient and dissatisfied. So I'm suggesting you look further into your psychiatric care to get that medication right. I took 12 different meds over 7 years to finally find the right one for me so it is no easy ride. </P> <P>Then you might be able to get more motivation and contentment. You could for example realise that there is no point worrying over what you cannot change- like your home and its maintenance.</P> <P>So, pursue getting your meds correct. </P> <P>PS shift work!! I did it for many years and for the mentally unstable it isn't a good idea. Consider a day time job or better still part time work.</P> <P>TonyWK</P> Tue, 02 Apr 2019 03:32:30 GMT https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/welcome-and-orientation/my-story/m-p/410350#M21354 white knight 2019-04-02T03:32:30Z