Not sure anymore

Dani867 — Tue, 25 Sep 2018 06:42:43 GMT

Hi I have been suffering anxiety all my life but it escalated 3 years ago when I had an anaphylactic reaction during a ct scan. Since then I am constantly afraid of anything health related from a bump I might find in my skin to my body mimicking a reaction or heart attack symptoms. Another thing that terrifies me is food poisoning and my kids getting stomach bugs. I am constantly googling symptoms and am struggling with day to day function. I used to drink to numb the fear but gave up alcohol 10 months ago which has made me feel these symptoms more. I have 4 children and have tried every antidepressant. I seem to have reactions to all. I am currently trying a new one and am not seeing any reduction in my anxiety. I have benzodiazepine medication but don’t want to get addicted. I am over being scared and want quality of life back. Any suggestions would be great. I can’t afford a councillor and I only have 2 sessions left for the year in my psychologist care plan which also terrifies me. I feel crazy!!! Thanks for reading.

Not sure anymore

SammyD100 — Thu, 27 Sep 2018 01:17:52 GMT

Hi Dani867

Firstly you are not crazy! Some of the things you've described experiencing are really, really normal. So I'm glad you've reached out for some help and reassurance and I'm positive there are many people here who have felt very similar things to you.

I wanted to say that giving up alcohol, which you were using to numb the fear, was a really positive thing to do. It probably was really helpful for you in the short term but in the long term, became an avoidant coping strategy that wasn’t actually helping you to manage the underlying reasons for your anxiety. So well done, I’m sure it was a hard decision to make and an even harder thing to actually do.

Another thing that would be helpful for you, but also really hard to give up, is the constant googling of symptoms. I too have fallen into the trap of googling symptoms and concluding that I or my children must have a significant and life-threatening illness. But so far for me, none of us have had anything worse than a virus. I wonder if that’s also the case for you? That despite google’s suggestions, and the terrible diseases you have thought you or your children must have, that nothing life-threatening has so far eventuated?

You say you’ve struggled with anxiety all your life – but that it’s been even worse for the last three years. It must be really hard for you to manage these fears you have, whilst trying to stay strong for your children.
I’m not exactly sure what type of psychological support you’ve been accessing but I’m assuming you’ve been seeing a Psychologist through your Mental Health Care Plan. And I’m guessing they’ve been trying to address your Health Anxiety through a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach? You mention you only have two sessions left and as you say, understandably this is really scary for you. I wonder if you have considered accessing support through a University Psychology Clinic? Most of the major universities (like Melbourne, Monash, LaTrobe, Swinburne, RMIT, VU) have a Psychology Clinic where you can access low cost Psychology services delivered by their Psychology Masters students. I’m not sure of the typical costs and the wait lists but it might be worth looking into?

Good luck exploring some options,
SammyD

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Not sure anymore

Not sure anymore