topic Feel completely helpless in Welcome and orientation

Feel completely helpless

Beautifulsoul75 — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 03:03:55 GMT

Where does one start

wellnik new to this group and hoping that I can find the support and help I need

im in a relationship with a genuinely loving caring man, but his depression and anxiety has spiraled out of control to the point he is pushing me away saying he needs time to get himself together

my issue is he says he wants me in his life and that he has told no one else friends nor family what he is going through , but wants to get through this by himself ... but knows he can’t .... I feel helpless ... I would be there 24/7 and he knows and appreciates this .. but still keeps me at arms length... I’m in tears constantly as I can’t do anything to help and I don’t want his situation to worsen

any help support or direction would be great ..

torn

Feel completely helpless

Bethie — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 04:07:46 GMT

Welcome to BB. Your partner needs to go see his GP and get a proper diagnosis.

My husband has tried to push me away due to depression in the past but with being a suffer myself i kinda put his own logic back on him and ask him if the roles where reversed would he leave me. Answer is allways the same no he wouldn't and that basically ends the arguement.

Let him know youll go to appointments with him if he wants and your not going anywhere because people in love dont give up on each other.

Feel completely helpless

quirkywords — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 04:20:51 GMT

Beautifulsoul,

Hello and welcome to the forum. This is a caring , supportive, friendly and understanding place.

It seems like your partner is finding it hard to cope , and the fact he is pushing you away. is not only affecting him, but you as well.

When I was depressed I would push people away and then complain no one liked me or wanted to be around me- such a vicious circle. The problem was I felt so worthless and that I was upsetting my loved one so much that I nwated to hide away. the fact was I needed them more than ever but I could not see that.

One thing you can do for him, for yourself and for your relationship is to explain to him what concerns you , and how they are affecting you. If he responds to this by saying he's hopeless let him know that this is not the case, that you're worried he's not coping, and that it's ok for people struggling in the way he is to need more help and support - this does not mean there's anything the matter with him. You can offer to make appoints and go with him if he wants that.

Finally, you may need to find help for yourself. You are in a very stressful position .
It may be helpful that you have someone to offer support to you.
Also someone can be supportive while you encourage your husband to obtain the help he needs.

Sometimes chatting to the Beyondblue support service on 1300 22 4636 is very helpful.

Thanks again for sharing your story.

Quirky

Feel completely helpless

Beautifulsoul75 — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 10:31:28 GMT

Thank you so much

he has been to the GP and been given a diagnosis they even increased the dosage of his meds to help but the side effects have increased his depression currently

Feel completely helpless

The_Trashy_Manga_Artist — Mon, 19 Feb 2018 04:57:47 GMT

Hey! Its all good! Things will turn out alright, I'm sure! Anyways! If you ever need to chat I'm here to listen!