topic Hello Im new here in Welcome and orientation

Hello Im new here

Bella001 — Wed, 19 Sep 2018 23:07:05 GMT

Hello

ive been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and ptsd, and im feeling really alone even when around other people. im in my early 20s and I hope to meet some others who might feel the same way as me.

Hello Im new here

Peppermintbach — Wed, 19 Sep 2018 23:15:09 GMT

Hi Bella,

How lovely of you to write in. I hope it’s okay for me to extend a very gentle welcome to you...

You do sound lonely and perhaps a little nervous too. I, like so many others, can relate to your feelings of feeling alone even when around others. It can be so painful...

I feel you’re in understanding and compassionate company here. Many people here can relate to your depression, anxiety, loneliness and PTSD...

Would you like to tell us a little more about yourself? There’s no pressure or rush to write of course...in your own good time and only if you’re feeling comfortable writing more.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper

Hello Im new here

baet123 — Wed, 19 Sep 2018 23:25:16 GMT

Hey Bella,

Very nice to meet you and welcome to the forums. You will find these forums as a safe, non-judgmental helpful platform where you can share as little or as much of your situation as you please. Many users have been through what you are going through. Around here everybody cares about everybody and welcome to the family! You will definitely meet people who are experiencing what your going through at the moment.

Hope to here back from you and follow you on your journey.

Stay strong and positive Bella,

All the best,

Your new friend,

Nick.

Hello Im new here

Bella001 — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 08:17:10 GMT

Hello Pepper and Nick

Thank you for your welcome. It is nice to meet you both.

Im not really all that sure on what to say about myself..... and a little weary about what to say in regards to idenity purposes.....

The loneliness is very much a struggle. i do work, have family and working on friendships but sometimes there is this void within me that is abit hard to explain. its awkward for me to feel alone even in the company of others because im not physically alone.

Maybe others could suggest some ways i could feel less alone?

Hello Im new here

Peppermintbach — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 21:02:20 GMT

Hi Bella,

It’s great to hear from you again 🙂

I think that’s completely understandable. Of course your privacy is important so only share what you feel comfortable sharing. No obligation or pressure to share any more than that 🙂

You sound like you’re surrounded by people (or at least sometimes anyway). I could easily be wrong, in which case, please don’t hesitate to correct me. But I wonder if the void within has something to do with a lack of emotional intimacy/deeper connections that is making you feel alone even when you’re around other people. Or perhaps this void is more about anxiety and fear around others...I’m merely guessing...

If it is about a lack of emotional intimacy (not saying it necessarily is), maybe it would help to work on forming deeper connections with people. Perhaps you’re holding back when it comes to opening up to people, which is maybe adding to those feelings of isolation/loneliness...

If it’s something else like fear and anxiety, maybe those issues need to be addressed first so you can feel less alone around others...

Granted, those are just my thoughts and suggestions. As I said, I may be way off track but I thought that I would put my ideas out there anyway...

I hope we hear from you again if you feel like writing again...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

Hello Im new here

geoff — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 22:37:27 GMT

Hello Bella, great to have you with us, and I see you've had many lovely replies back to you, to welcome you onto the site.

Loneliness may mean you are struggling with some sort of depression and/or anxiety or perhaps both, it seems to lock you up all by yourself, nothing seems to be able to enthuse you but what's worse is that you suffer in silence.

The void you feel you are in doesn't need to be explained, that says it all, most of us have been there ourselves and it may take some time to feel comfortable to feel as though you can trust us, I hope you do.

All we want to do is help those other people, just like you, to feel secure about whatever you want to tell us.

You work and have a family but this doesn't necessarily fill this void, it could even widen it and make it more awkward, I'm sorry to say.

Just take your time.

Geoff.

Hello Im new here

Bella001 — Sat, 22 Sep 2018 10:54:41 GMT

Hello Pepper

Thats a rather interesting perspective. Maybe you are right. i am quite closed off to other people mentally. im open for others to express themselves but for me to express myself and how im feeling i find it very challanging.

would you have some suggestions on what might help me in this area?

Hello Geoff

It is nice to meet you. Yes your right, even with having work and family i still do have that void. Ive been diagosed with anxiety, depression and ptsd but have been going ok and relatively stable. more recently i think i may be relapsing a little bit so i am hoping that with some extra help ill be able to pick myself back up once again.

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emojess — Sat, 22 Sep 2018 12:32:18 GMT

Hi Bella, I'm Jessica.

I also have anxiety and its getting really hard to deal with, I get so overwhelmed by it that I can't get on with my life without feeling like I'm just going to break down and cry. I would love to chat with you if you need.

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Bella001 — Mon, 24 Sep 2018 06:16:17 GMT

Hi Jessica

I can totally relate to your post. it can be so overwhelming cant it! It would be great to chat with you too, have you found anything helpful in managing your mental health at all?

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Guest8901 — Mon, 24 Sep 2018 07:17:04 GMT

Hi Bella,

I am just responding to your message to me on your other thread in the Staying Well section, where we have been having a conversation about how hormones affect our mental health.

Yes its quite okay to switch your conversation about PTSD to this thread. Good idea!

As you already know, I too am diagnosed with PTSD and associated anxiety and depression. I am happy to talk any time you choose. You said you would respond to my post on your other thread here, so I will wait to hear further from you before I say any more. For now, I just wanted to respond so I dont lose your thread.

I hope you've had a good weekend and a nice start to a new week.

Amanda

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Bella001 — Mon, 24 Sep 2018 08:57:08 GMT

Hi Amanda

the nightmares and flashbacks are definently the pits. Sometimes I can control them mostly through distractions and grounding exercises but other times the flashbacks are really bad and seem to go on and on or they keep reoccuring even on the same day. Do you and other experience this too?
What sort of things help you with flashbacks? Do you experience the physical flashbacks too?
And the nightmares too? I can have a good day and a relaxing night and still have nightmares!
Do you get panic attacks too? I find deep breathing helpful but if others have some suggestions that would be really great.

Its really hard when theres such a limited amount of sessions. I cant really afford private so im abit stuck at the moment until the plan can be renewed again. Can I ask what the extra 5 sessions are- maybe I could ask about them too..?

oh yes the helpines can be both good and bad. Usually they help me but there have been times where I really questioned their methods- some even sound robotic..

I had a rather busy weekend but thats ok it wasnt all bad esp being able to get out in the sun. we ended up at one of the local community gardens. So many beautiful flowers to see.
How was your weekend?

Hello Im new here

Peppermintbach — Mon, 24 Sep 2018 19:34:08 GMT

Hi Bella (waves to all),

It’s lovely to hear from you again. Thanks so much for writing in again 🙂 I see there is now quite a beautiful gathering of support around you, which is uplifting to see.

I’m glad my stray thoughts gave you something to contemplate. About the whole possible lack of emotional intimacy issue and your quesfion:

would you have some suggestions on what might help me in this area?

I suppose what works will be slightly different for each person although there might be some overlapping and common elements. If you’re an animal lover, I actually find the company of animals (e.g. animal assisted therapy or the company of your own animal friends or “pets”) is a good way to assist in terms of learning to form deeper emotional bonds and connections, which perhaps can then later be transferred slowly to humans...animals can feel safer than humans for (some) people.

Alternatively or in addition, I might suggest testing the waters with opening up with whoever you feel most comfortable. Perhaps it would help to open up with something small, such as, a simple sentence about how you’re having a rough day.

Then depending on his/her response, and your own comfort levels, you can choose to open up further or put it on hold till next time. I suppose the idea is to gradually open up little by little but without overwhelming yourself.

That being said, if you have PTSD, I feel it adds another dimension to consider. For example, perhaps it can be hard for some people to develop emotional intimacy if some of the PTSD symptoms haven’t been addressed...I’m not saying that necessarily applies to you but perhaps it’s something to think about....

Sorry, I don’t know if you have Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) or PTSD but there’s a thread here called Complex PTSD - what is it and how do we cope? that you might find helpful. If you’re interested, you should be able to find it fairly easily by typing the title (verbatim is probably easiest) in the BeyondBlue search.

As I said, it’s great to see you writing, asking questions and connecting. Hopefully, we will hear from you again 🙂

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

Hello Im new here

Guest8901 — Tue, 25 Sep 2018 12:51:55 GMT

Hi Bella,

Thats so good that you can often control your nightmares and flashbacks through distraction and grounding. Do you have a psychologist or counsellor to help you with self help methods to do that? My psych is currently working with me on that. I am also on medication which is designed to help with nightmares. If you're interested in trying it, you could ask your GP about medication which is successfully used to treat ptsd-related nightmares and sleep disturbances. I am not able to mention medication names here, but if you mention that to your GP I'm sure they will know what it is. It could be worth trying for you, even if its only during times of particular duress.

For me that is usually around anniversary times, including the date that my main trauma occurred. That is always particularly difficult for me, both in the lead up and the aftermath. But I am hoping it will get easier in future, with ongoing psychotherapy through my clinical psychologist. Yes I do get occasional flashbacks, and they are just so real. I feel them physically as well, and it generally results in me being physically sick. It takes ages to recover from them, both emotionally and physically.

I try to remember my breathing techniques, and also some grounding exercises which my psych taught me. I repeat over and over to myself that it isnt happening now, that it was a long time ago and that I'm safe now. And yeah I get panic attacks as well, for which I try to utilise the same breathing and grounding techniques. Its hard sometimes to predict when they may occur though, as they can happen randomly and often due to seemingly obscure triggers.

The extra medicare sessions I mentioned are through a GP Care Plan. Under which you get 5 visits to allied health services per year. You qualify if you have a chronic medical condition and have complex medical care needs. I have a musculo-skeletal condition which qualifies me for this. It covers things like chiropractors, osteopaths, exercise physiologists, physiotherapists, mental health workers and psychologists. It does not provide as much subsidy as what the MHCP does ($124.50), but it pays about $55 if my memory serves me right. It wont cover the full cost of psych session, but it does help. I have to pay a top up to see my psychologist as well, under the MHCP. It could be worth asking your GP about it to see if you qualify?

Glad you had a busy and good weekend. Mine was relatively quiet, thankfully.

Amanda

Hello Im new here

Bella001 — Sat, 29 Sep 2018 01:55:05 GMT

Hello Everyone

Life has been pretty crazy so my apologises for not getting back to you sooner.

Hello Pepper

It is lovely having some supports here, I feel very blessed.
Oh, I love animals, I own a few pets of my own or within the family ie family dog. Im always talking to those and connect well with them, it seems to be the human interaction I struggle with.

I like your idea of testing the waters though, but what if it not only overwhelms me but what about the other person too. I find its ok if I say 'oh im having abit of a rough day today but im sure ill be ok' but thats usually as far as I get I struggle to open up further even with a professional.
Maybe as I age, ill be able to form some deeper connections?

You might be right though with the effects of PTSD, it is definently something to consider..
I had a look at the thread you suggested but it was only the one event so it wouldnt class as Complex PTSD, but ill have a look around, im sure theres others out there who suffer ptsd too.

Thanks Again!

Hello Im new here

Bella001 — Sat, 29 Sep 2018 02:20:18 GMT

Hello Amanda

I do have a psychologist but because ive run out of my mental health care plan its only every month or 2 as I can afford it. Its rather expensive isnt it. She has been a really big help to me in learning how to cope, I know its not an overnight fix and ive still got a long way to go but being able to cope better and actually be able to sleep again is a big help. A yr seems to have both gone quickly and not quick enough!
Im already on medications, we did try for a little while to see how I would go but since being on medications it is better. Im on two different sorts for my mental health but im not sure if im allowed to say the catagories they are in..

I havent gotten through the aniversary as yet, so im not really sure what to expect. Its in late october so it is fast coming. You said main traumas- do you have more than one? That must be really horrible, I think just having the one is bad enough.

I agree, some of the flashbacks we get are horrible, I dont get physically sick so much anymore but at the beginning I thought I would never leave the bathroom! I actually I can relate to so much of your post!! its pretty eye opening really, even though im very sorry you have had to cope with so much too.

Hmm I dont have any of those things either but ill ask about the extra 5 sessions when I see my gp next week.

Thank you for your post, and sharing what you have, I can relate a lot to what youve said too.

Hello Im new here

Guest8901 — Mon, 01 Oct 2018 22:28:37 GMT

Hello again Bella, and thanks for your reply.

Really happy to hear that between your psych sessions and medications, you are in a better place now than what you were. Yes its true that we are not able to mention actual medication names (trade names or generic), although we are permitted to state the overall class of medication eg SSRI, SNRI, benzos, betablockers, mood stabilisers, antipsychotics, etc. Sometimes its helpful to discuss such things.

I gather from your post that the first anniversary of your PTSD event is coming up at the end of this month. I think .. just be aware that you may be particularly sensitive around that time, so be very gentle with yourself. Try to keep busy so as not to let your mind wander to places which will bring further hurt. If possible, have a friend or trusted loved one around so you can seek their company if you need to. You may not wish to talk about things, but you may need the comfort of knowing someone is there for you. You have not indicated what caused your trauma, so I am unable to be specific about what may cause triggers for you. Perhaps by now, you are already aware of most triggers.

I have only the one major traumatic event which caused my PTSD. But I also have a long series of incidents, tragedys and domestic violence which have resulted in an additional diagnosis of C-PTSD. So although I can very much related to you with your single trauma, I also identify with those suffering C-PTSD.

The key difference between PTSD and Complex PTSD is that in C-PTSD a person is exposed to a series of prolonged traumatic events, as opposed to a single event. The symptoms of intrusion, avoidance and hyperarousal are seen in both. But for those with CPTSD, there are many interpersonal problems as well, which are not typically seen in PTSD. It can include an inability to connect or become close to others, problems with expressing emotions, extreme feelings of worthlessness and guilt and being easily hurt emotionally. I hope this helps to see the difference between the two, but also the similarities.

I guess what I'm saying is that you can still gain a lot of insight and help from the CPTSD thread which Pepper referred you to. I would highly recommend another thread by one of the community champions here (PamelaR) entitled "PTSD triggers and stigma". Do a search for it from the Beyondblue website. I think its one you will find very helpful right now.

Hope to hear back from you if or when you're ready.

Amanda

Hello Im new here

Bella001 — Tue, 02 Oct 2018 02:56:54 GMT

Hello Amanda

That is a really insightful post, thank you. Im on antidepressents though im not exactly sure of the category and also mood stabilisers. It took a few to try out but this combination seems to be going well and with minimal side effects too.

Yes the first anniversary is coming up rather soon- the 16th this month.. thank you so much for those suggestions, ive also managed to get an appointment for the 10th of october so I think that will help me to prepare as well. I dont really have any friends but I do have some counsins that I could try to organise a day out or something with them..
Im a little nervous to and abit embarrassed as well say what the trauma was but I will try to get it out.... Last yr my first time... was quite traumatic. At first I had agreeed but when it come down to it I felt I wasnt ready and said no but it was ignored and they got abit angry and so was forced upon leaving me well I guess how anyone wouldve felt in that sort of situation esp very sore and worried about the chance of pregnancy etc (which thankfully all come back clear). It was a very very confusing time and it took a lot of talking about to know that its ok and how my body reacted was normal even though I was scared and wanted to get away and also that No means no even if I had agreed originally. I hope this has been ok to say, ive tried really carefully to not trigger anyone and be very careful about the guidelines as well....

am running out of characters but ill make a second post, i would really like to talk about some of the other things youve said in your post too.

Hello Im new here

Bella001 — Tue, 02 Oct 2018 02:59:26 GMT

im so very sorry youve been through so many traumatic things,they mustve been so frightening for you! you are very very strong in my eyes and you seem to have such a wonderful kind and caring nature. it feels easy to talk to you here. If it is ok, id like to offer a virtual hug to you, it is more than ok though if thats not something your into.

I have troubles connecting with people, mostly I think because im worried about what might happen to me if im left alone with them sort of thing. Women im a lot more comfortable around and feel I can connect to them abit more unless they are really dominent and loud and seem angry but most are ok. Men though I am abit scared of, im much better with familiy members but I still struggle to be in the same room as them unless theres other women around.
Im getting better at expressing emotions, I was really shut down before, we did explore that though and we worked out that it was because I was ignored at my most vulnerable time that it caused me to worry all the time too.
Thank you so much for listening to my ramblings, I still have trouble talking about what happened to many people other than professonals. And ill have a look at the thread you suggested too, it sounds rather interesting.

Hello Im new here

Penguin_fan08 — Tue, 02 Oct 2018 08:24:46 GMT

Greetings Bella.

Welcome, from another new member, I think you'll find there is only kind and helpful people here (which is lovely)

I also have anxiety, I understand how you may feel and I sympathize with you.

Have a lovely day.

Regards, Penguin.

Hello Im new here

Peppermintbach — Tue, 02 Oct 2018 21:36:49 GMT

Hi Bella (waves to all your lovely supporters here),

I’m really sorry it has taken me a few days to get back to you. Thank you so much for your reply 🙂

Yes, I think humans and animals can share a very special bond. It sounds like that bond applies to you and your pets. That is truly precious...

I agree with you that opening up can be hard. I think it’s because vulnerability is scary...it scares me and a lot of other people too.

It sounds like the lead up to your anniversary date is going to (understandably) be a very emotional time for you. You have a lot to process and I hear your struggle and pain. I feel for you and I’m keeping you in my thoughts this month as I know it’s going to be hard...

Gentle and kind thoughts,

Pepper