topic Off the wagon and kicking myself BAD in Welcome and orientation

Off the wagon and kicking myself BAD

drama — Thu, 14 Mar 2019 03:16:50 GMT

I am inconsolable, I drank last night and let my partner down, I hate myself today, I only got through 7 days....

Off the wagon and kicking myself BAD

Tess2 — Thu, 14 Mar 2019 05:07:26 GMT

Hi Drama,

well done for posting, and instead of beating yourself up about last night, you got through 7 days, this time it will be longer. Apologise, you probably have and be clear that you will keep trying. It is not easy giving up alcohol, for many reasons.

Today is a new day, and a new resolution

tess

Off the wagon and kicking myself BAD

therising — Thu, 14 Mar 2019 09:16:46 GMT

Hi drama

I don't know if it will help but I'll give you my take on the concept of 'disappointment'.

If your goal is to give up drinking, you will appoint yourself the role of 'Someone who gives up drinking'. You played out that role for 7 days and then disappointed yourself from it through the act of having a drink. I imagine you want to appoint yourself that role again. Go for it! Don't be so hard on yourself whilst you are committing and recommitting to such an incredibly tough challenge (which it can be). Personally, my addiction is cigarettes and I can honestly tell you that I have disappointed myself so many times from the act of quitting that I've actually lost count. It used to really get to me because I associated shame with such disappointment. In reality, there is no shame involved. I really do hate the concept of shame, with a passion. It's a socially contrived concept which can bring about a lot of sufferance.

We're funny creatures, for we can actually feel the act of disappointment on so many levels. Seeing that thoughts, in regard to 'how we could have done better', trigger a lot of emotion (energy in motion), we need to remain vigilant when it comes to what sort of energy we're relating to. Positive energy inspires another productive appointment, whereas negative energy may see us not even want to try again. Tess2 has plenty of positive energy happening in the way of encouragement. Spot on, you got through 7 days which is excellent. Spot on again, next time will be longer. Eventually you'll master the role.

By the way, others can sometimes feel the disappointment too. When they have given us a role to play and we don't stick to that role for whatever reason, they may relay their feelings to us in a variety of ways. It remains important that we not take their words of feelings personally. Sometimes people need to simply reappoint us the realistic role of 'He or she who is trying their best'.

Hope this has helped put a different spin on dealing with disappointment.

Take care. Sending positive vibes your way!

Off the wagon and kicking myself BAD

geoff — Sun, 17 Mar 2019 01:33:50 GMT

Hi Drama, thank you for posting your comment.

I feel so sorry for you and certainly, understand your situation.

It's not easy to make a promise that you won't drink is an enormous effort, but to do this for 7 days is a great achievement, especially if you yourself aren't ready to stop.

I have had past alcohol problems in my ex-marriage but have for quite a while only been drinking socially, so I'd really like you to get back to us.

My Best.

Geoff.