topic Newbie in Welcome and orientation

Newbie

Red Heart — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 09:24:53 GMT

Hi all,

Have been hovering here for a while now, and have used the chat section at one of my lowest times.

I think my issues with mild depression and anxiety stem from my close relationship with a friend who has PTSD. It’s a little all over the shop and my forgiveness ( for them) is eternal. They’ve hurt me emotionally a lot and have been very cruel at times. I always forgive them.

Today they’ve dumped me again and I may lose my job too.

It’s probably also my age and feeling unfulfilled? I feel guilty now for feeling down?

I am always the positive person with the smile and feel that pretty much everyone expects me to be happy and positive all the time. I just can’t anymore.

Newbie

Skary Bill — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 13:10:02 GMT

Hi Red Heart,

It's what we do isn't it. We put on that smile and give people our best. But sometimes we feel downright lousy and there's just no two ways about it. Don't suffer feeling guilty because you're at a low ebb. It's completely ok to be you, and to feel vulnerable sometimes.

I'm sorry to hear your friend has let you down. It sounds like you're a loyal and supportive friend and even though you accept your friend for who they are, it's still very dissapointing to get short shift in return.

Don't be shy. There are some lovely folk here if you ever want to talk.

Take care,

Bill.

Newbie

Amy987 — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 15:06:24 GMT

Hi Red Heart,

If it makes any difference, we all feel unfulfilled sometimes. I think that's something that never goes away, not even with people who have done everything right and have all their ducks in a row.

Make sure you take good care of yourself. Take care of yourself the same way you would take care of someone you love.

Amy

Newbie

geoff — Mon, 11 Mar 2019 17:42:04 GMT

Hello Red Heart, thanks for posting your comment.

When you always keep wanting to help someone is always a lovely gesture, but it can come to a point where you can't keep forgiving them for what they do or say back to you, because it can finally break through and start to affect you and make you annoyed.

When this does happen you may decide to move on when they are not even sorry and only think of themselves because it's you who has to look after yourself.

If you have mild depression and anxiety as you say then your mood is going to affect your daily activities including your job.

You can't let this manifest and take over, so can I ask you a couple of questions, do you still have your job, and secondly what's happened about your job?

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Newbie

Red Heart — Sat, 01 Jun 2019 04:26:44 GMT

Thank you Geoff,

Apologies for my late response.

It’s been a roller coaster few months. I did lose my job whilst still under probation, so I was easy to get rid of. I didn’t do anything illegal or wrong. Just not good enough in their eyes and a possible future liability. It was a difficult industry to get into, but not well suited in some aspects of the job.

I am currently in the process of seeking new employment. Not easy, but will keep applying.

My friend came good again, but this has again gone sour in the last few days. Space and time usually works it out, however I think I am finally done. It’s always their way or the highway... 🤷‍♀️

I will need to refocus my time and energy back to me.

Newbie

Red Heart — Sat, 01 Jun 2019 04:29:37 GMT

Thank you Bill,

I am far too caring, and this is my continuing undoing.

At least I have time at present to just be.

Thank you again

Newbie

Red Heart — Sat, 01 Jun 2019 04:32:11 GMT

Thank you Amy,

Am currently taking one day at a time. Little steps.

Am broken but not irreparable.

Thank you 🙏

Newbie

geoff — Thu, 06 Jun 2019 17:57:57 GMT

Hi Red Heart, sorry about your job but you say you seem to be happy and positive, I know at times this doesn't happen all the time, it's really impossible because it changes at any circumstances you are in.

You can't make your friend be what you want them to be and you can't decide what is best for them, they will decide that themselves, but that doesn't stop you from suggesting different ways for them to think about but now you need to look after yourself and let us know how you are going.

Geoff.

Newbie

Red Heart — Thu, 20 Jun 2019 22:42:18 GMT

Thank you Geoff,

My friend is now ghosting me now. Just awful all of it. No explanation. Nothing. Things were going well for a bit then I guess I’m no longer useful to their needs 🤷‍♀️

I think I’m finally done. I Am emotionally exhausted and I feel bad when I know it’s not me that’s done anything.

Still nothing on the job front, but also working with a recruitment agency.

Am thinking after the EOFY things will improve?

I know my problems are minimal, but I’m probably a functioning depressive because of it all.

Will keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just very slowly right now.

Newbie

geoff — Fri, 21 Jun 2019 18:48:39 GMT

Hi Red Heart, thanks for getting back to me.

No problem is minimal, ask a young child who gets a splinter in their hand, to them it's major because it hurts and looks as though they've got the whole forest in their hand.

With your friend, you can never be sure whether or not they are telling you the truth, so just look after yourself because you have not done anything wrong.

Please keep in touch.

Geoff.