topic Log time carer father husband first meds at 50 in Welcome and orientation

Log time carer father husband first meds at 50

Anndrew — Sun, 10 Jun 2018 22:05:12 GMT

Hi ...As above i am father and husband who has been primary carer for his kids and Bipola wife for many years.

I have been part of ARAFMI a carers help group and spent much time educating myself to help myself my wife and kids and though at times things have seemed impossible and my marriage close to breakdown i have made it this far OK.

Now that the children are teens are my wife us stable and i am over 50 i have found my self to be suffering more and more.Mostly anxiety a bit of anger no time for any one or anything and days and weeks of depression.

I tried a herbal remedy and it helped a bit but not a lot , so after many visits to my GP and in conjunction with advice from my wifes Psychiatrist i have started a fairly stock standard anti depressive medication.

Three days in i took a 1/4 dose first day felt like crap headache detached second day 1/2 dose bit groggy but ok third day 1/2 dose again and feeling mild euphoria but in a good way.

I am thinking i am one of the lucky ones as far as side effects go as i don"t feel too bad at all now..

My Doctor wants me to see a Psychologist but i just don't have the time or money...These guys are super expensive..I might just stick with the meds for a few months and see how i go...

Log time carer father husband first meds at 50

PamelaR — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 00:01:14 GMT

Hello Anndrew and a very warm welcome to Beyond Blue forums

It is pleasing to see you've found your way here. The community is caring, friendly, supportive and non judgemental. You're not alone at all in what you're experiencing.

You have been such a tower of strength to your wife and children, what a lovely story to hear. Thank you for sharing. By the sounds of it, you are doing a lot to help yourself, being a member of ARAFMI, anti depressants.

However, it sounds like it is your turn now. One of the things that has been recognised is - carers have to look after themselves too. From what you've said, perhaps you haven't taken enough time for yourself being so committed to the others.

There is quite a lot of material available for carers on the Beyond Blue home page if you haven't already browsed the pages. Go to the search field at the top of the page and enter Looking After Yourself. Lifeline also has a resource for carers (again if you haven't already found it) - Tool kit Carers of people with mental illness -A self-help resource to help people living with mental illness.

Anxiety is debilitating at times, as depression is too. I have PTSD, anxiety and depression - I have a combination of strategies to help me through. Medication, psychologist, CBT, behavioural therapy, grounding, mindfulness, meditation, exercise, healthy lifestyle, breathing -it takes a combination of everything to keep me well.

About going to a psychologist, have you thought about getting a mental health plan for yourself? You possibly know that this entitles you to 10 bulk billed visits to a psychologist. You'll find some just charge the bulk bill fee and for others you have to pay the difference between their fee and the bulk bill fee.

Medication for anxiety and depression do help. Though, it's not the only thing that helps manage yourself. You have been through a lot over the years and talking helps tremendously to work through some of the pain you must have experienced. I know that sometimes men feel they are strong and don't need to talk, though believe me it does help. My hubby and I had many miscarriages and premature births. It took me about 20 years to help him grieve and to go to a psychologist. He hasn't looked back.

It's okay too reach out. You have needs too. Keep reaching out here if and when you want to. No pressure.

Kind regards

PamelaR

Log time carer father husband first meds at 50

Croix — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 00:03:35 GMT

Dear Anndrew~

Welcome to the Forum, I hope you find it a useful as well as friendly place. Life has not handed you the easiest of roles however you sound very sensible and have made some good moves. Getting help from ARAFMI is one, a pretty good organization.

I'm guessing you have limited means, otherwise a psycologist for yourself would be affordable. Under those circumstances maintaining a psychiatrist for your wife must be a struggle. I'd expect you are aware there is an annual Mental Health Plan to assist with the scheduled fee for visits to a psycologist. Plus an annual Safety Net for medical expenses as well as one for pharmacy. Sorry to state the obvious, a lot of people, myself included, have benefited from therapy as well as meds so I would hate anyone to not have treatment if it was possible. There are also some practitioners who bulk-bill.

While I think of it we do have a thread you might be interested in on behalf of your wife:

Forums / Staying well / This bipolar life

Hopefully you will be one of the lucky ones from whom medication is introduced without too many adverse effects. While there are a fair few unpleasant tales here I guess this is because people are more likely to post about them than experiences that have gone well.

I have found that having someone I can talk frankly witrh about my illness has made a big difference. Not only do I feel less isolated but have the benefit of someone else's care and perspective. Do you have anyone like that to be with you?

Please let us know how you get on

Croix

Log time carer father husband first meds at 50

Anndrew — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 20:20:40 GMT

Thank you for your reply very help full indeed.

My wifes situation is well managed by her Psychiatrist and Therapist weekly visits to both..One as in hospital care,day patient , one paid for until we reach medicare safety net...Private Health fund..She has a very complicated mental health problem that is being managed well...She also suffered an adverse reaction to a med which left her with a lifetime of extra health issues ..{TENS} or Toxic Epedermil Necrolysis.

Is the safety net per person or per family because my wife hits it every year by March...Up until then its well over $300.00 a session for her therapist PTSD specialist not too mention the medications she has to take for mental health and other continuing health issues...

Is there any where i can get advise on the safety net and how it works and how best to utilize it ?

Warm Regards.

Log time carer father husband first meds at 50

PamelaR — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 23:17:44 GMT

Hello Anndrew

Thank you for the information about your wife and her care. It is good to know she is being looked after.

I've found information About the safety net you seek by doing a google search for Medicare Safety Net Australia. I went to the Department of Human Services website and clicked on Medicare Safety Net for families. Information on this page gives you links to who is covered, what is covered and the thresholds.

From what I've read, you need to register as a family and include everyone who is to be covered. The safety net adds the costs of all your family together. They must all be registered for this to happen. When your family gets close to the threshold amount they'll tell you, so you can confirm who’s in your family and get the higher Medicare benefit when your family reaches the threshold.

The safety net is calculated on a calendar year, i.e. from January to December.

I hope this information is of some assistance to you.

Kind regards

PamelaR