topic Hi Everyone- My first post in Welcome and orientation

Hi Everyone- My first post

Anon9022 — Thu, 02 Nov 2017 13:48:18 GMT

Hi everyone,

Just now I found myself in a desperate situation to talk. I am in my late 20's and over the past year and a half my life took a dramatic turn.

In my late teens (2009/2010) I got involved with someone and had a wonderful relationship. Just over a year and a half later, the relationship ended and I hit rock bottom.

Lost 13kg in 4 days, drank all weekend and if I wasnt doing either of those I became a gym junkie.

I went from 175cm approx and 85kg (im female) to 60kg. I was super happy and loved life, but always longed to have my ex back. We kept it casual and he knew how I felt. 8 months after him breaking up with me and keeping it causal he got with someone else. A year later so did I.

As soon as I got with my new boyfriend, he wanted me back but I had moved on.

I seemingly broke up with that boyfriend a few weeks later because of differences and found myself back together with the ex.

2 months later I was pregnant, and it was planned. 3 months later he proposed.

6 months after that we bought a house and our child was born.

Got married some time after that and lived happily for several months.

Mid 2016 while I was pregnant with our second child, he destroyed our marriage.

Via text, the day before my birthday, for a girl he met at work.

With the same name as me.

I had to move from our home, he ignored everything I said to him and still to this day there has been no change.

My family think that depression and anxiety are a choice. That medication will make it vanish.

Other times its "you dont want to get better".

If I say "I'M..." they turn it around to themselves. Like I'm never important enough to consider.

I have 2 young children whom I am now a single parent to. My ex plays happily families with the homewrecker and my family is crowding me expecting me to want to talk about it all the time. Help.

Hi Everyone- My first post

white knight — Thu, 02 Nov 2017 14:56:47 GMT

Hi anon, welcome

Sad your ex treated you that way. Lets see what I can come up with. I might be candid about this.

Your ex was really the home wrecker but either way him or her, the ideal situation and an ideal goal is cordial communication if your children go on visitations. Short chats about diet, schooling etc no longer than 15 minutes should be the goal. Your children will play around uou happy you are talking.

Your family. Google

Topic: they just wont understand why?- beyondblue

I suggest you not fiscuss mental illness with them. Psychiatrists have minimum 15 years training yet some know more than them. Odd.

As you age you'll distance yourself from difficult people. Again the ideal is bare communication...keeping the peace by distancing....slowly drift away. But! As soon as there is a medical issue they have weigh up your response. If your gamily isnt supportive with your illness then imo they should get limited attention from you. The realisation they are choosing to be ignorant about your needs says it all.

Choose wisely your close friends and relatives and bare communication for the rest. Insist on not talking about your ex when family ask.

Also google

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

TonyWK

Hi Everyone- My first post

geoff — Thu, 02 Nov 2017 18:20:40 GMT

hello Anon, I'm sorry that your partner has played along with you, only until he got sick of the r/ship and decided to cheat on you and form a r/ship with someone else.
He is still responsible for fortnightly or monthly child support payments, education and if your children become sick, and I certainly don't want this to happen.
If you need to contact a lawyer on a 'no-win no-fee' basis or perhaps legal aid.
Depression and anxiety happens and certainly not by choice, and yes medication will help you, but it takes more than this to make you feel 100% better and to criticise you by saying 'you don't want to get better' is ridiculous and absurd.
I too wouldn't be talking with your family, you don't know what sort of reaction you will get and from what you have told us, then there won't be much sympathy.
One place I suggest you contact is Anglicare, they were such an enormous help for me I thank them enough, they offer counselling as well as finding a place for you to live, that's if you don't have somewhere comfortable to stay, perhaps it's with your family and if so I suggest you move out, that's where Anglicare can help you.
Please let us know what's been going on. Geoff.

Hi Everyone- My first post

quirkywords — Thu, 02 Nov 2017 21:19:17 GMT

Welcome, anon,

Geoff and Tony have given you helpful advice.

I just wanted to welcome you and say you are doing a great bob with looking after 2 children on your own.

People including family seem to be instant experts at times and it can be confusing,

Be kind to yourself.

Quirky.