topic First Time Ever Forum User in Welcome and orientation

First Time Ever Forum User

Missymoon — Sun, 29 Oct 2017 10:06:42 GMT

Hi, have never used any online forum, looking to talk to people who know what people with depression are going thru or have gone thru

First Time Ever Forum User

Lstewie — Sun, 29 Oct 2017 10:49:01 GMT

Hi there, this is my first post too, i have depression so i may know what your going through

First Time Ever Forum User

dragonflies — Sun, 29 Oct 2017 10:57:42 GMT

Hey guys, you're not alone out there trust me. I joined these forums around a month ago now and the support you can receive is comforting. Also chatting with people who are going through what you may be going through too - people you can relate too. I have had depression for around the last 5/6 years - I'm now a young adult. I have only recently been able to accept that this is a part of me.

What would you like to talk about Missymoon and Lstewie? Would you like to chat about what has been going on lately? How you are? Feel free to share more if you want to.

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Croix — Sun, 29 Oct 2017 11:09:30 GMT

Dear Missymoon (with a Hi to Lstewie)~

Thank you for coming here to the Forum. It can seem a confusing place to start with, and for many it is a difficult thing to talk about themselves. It can be worth the effort though as there are plenty here who suffer the same sorts of illnesses and can both understand and say how they have gotten on, particularly what has worked for them.

Trying to talk to someone who is fortunate enough never to have had depression is hard, there is no common ground and trying to explain everything is exhausting and not always successful. Here I guess you can almost talk shorthand, the experiences are similar and there is no silly or unrealistic judgment.

I've had PTSD, anxiety and bouts of depression for a very long time, and found I needed not only family support, but medical support too, with meds and therapy on an ongoing basis.

Would you like to say a little more about yourself? Perhaps if you have been diagnosed and are under treatment. If you have a family and if so how you get on. The problems you face - that sort of thing. Knowing more about you means we can talk more sensibly.

While you are here you might like to browse around the Depression Section of this Forum to see how others have coped.

Dear Lstewie~

I guess everything I've said to Missymoon might also be said to you. Do you think you might like to make your own thread like Missymoon has and start a conversation of your own?

Thanks

Croix

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White_Rose — Sun, 29 Oct 2017 21:39:36 GMT

Dear Missymoon and Lstewie

A warm welcome to both of you. This is a great place to ask questions and talk to others who have walked your road. We are a friendly bunch and we have had different experiences even though they all come under the general heading of depression.

Beyond Blue has a large store of information about depression which may be useful to read. You can also ask for booklets to be sent to you, no charge. There is a booklet for friends and families which may be helpful to these folk. And if you want to chat with someone there is the BB helpline 1300 22 4636, available 24/7.

Like Croix I have depression though not PTSD. There are days when I feel I cannot function and must push myself to carry out even the simplest tasks. I do think, "What's the point, I'll have a day off" but I have also found it helps if I complete tasks or whatever. Keeping to your usual routine is helpful because it gives some structure to your day and opportunities to drag your mind away from the roundabout of unwanted thoughts.

Easy to say of course but not easy to do. If you can start to make this a habit you will find it easier as you go. It can also be rewarding by saving the energy you expend on forcing yourself to stop thinking. The trick really is to substitute a different, more pleasant thought. Plan your next holiday, how to de-clutter your wardrobe, what can you buy for a birthday present. All alternatives, and far more pleasurable to having the black dog in your mind barking loudly and drowning the good thoughts.

I hope both of you will continue to talk to us.

Mary

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Stuckinaloop — Sun, 29 Oct 2017 23:53:20 GMT

This is my first time here and to be honest, I don't know if I should even be here. I am a bloke, a mature man that feels awkward even being here, but I am not coping very well. I thought I was handling things but I am not. I have noone to talk to and even though I tried to talk to my wife years ago whenI first had trouble, it did not go well so I am scarred of talking to her about it. Even now I am crying and I have the gist of why but it is so many things that I can't get it real clear in my head.

I decided to come here and try to talk to people that are like minded with this problem and jut try to have someone to talk to and not get false platitudes from. There are so many things now and they are cliched by everyone else and everything else and everyone says to go to your doctor. Well I did that the first time and then got shoved to a psychologist who did not give me answers just listed and told me what she needed to tell me, she didn't really "listen". This was about 10 years ago and I just don't know what to do. I have tried back and forth with different strategies to help myself and now they have run out. I am struggling with this especially with the bloke thing

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LuLu_ — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 00:19:02 GMT

Welcome! I am quite new as well. From looking around different threads I have found that so many people of different ages and genders are included in this community. Every individual belongs and has a right to be. Everyone deserves to be here and deserves to receive support. I understand feelings of hopelessness and utter confusion.

I am so sorry for your bad experience with your psychologist. That must have been quite discouraging. My first psychologist did not help me at all. She made me feel so much worse. I thought I was losing my mind. She didn't help me figure out anything. She confused me and I was a mess. However I changed to another psychologist. As soon as I met her we clicked. She let me speak. She let me dump everything on the table and she helped me sort it out. I understand your experience has probably stopped any thoughts of going back to someone for support. But I urge you to find a new psychologist. Similarly to everyday life some people just do not click. Some individuals think differently and some psychologists have approaches that just aren't suited. Sometimes it will take a person a few tries before they find the right support that works for them. There are a million different ways we can try to get us on the right path.

Personally I like to figure everything out on my own. But I couldn't figure out my mental health. It was too consuming. I needed extra support and if thats what is takes there is no shame in that.

I am sorry if I have been unhelpful and discouraged you. But I hope if you take one thing away that it is that you should be here if you want to be here. Everyone is welcome.

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White_Rose — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 10:59:36 GMT

Dear Stuck

Welcome to Beyond Blue. Is it OK to shorten your name? If you are coping, or not coping for that matter, with a mental illness then this is a good place for you. Explore the site and read the information about depression and anxiety, take the K10 test to see your score on the depression or anxiety checklist. Not a diagnostic tool but gives a good indication. Home page, scroll down to depression and anxiety and go from there. It's always useful to be informed as much as possible.

I am a mature person also. Retired from paid employment some years ago and now work in various roles but unpaid. What's wrong with this statement? 😊 Understanding of MI has increased hugely in recent years and it is easier to talk about in general. The unfortunate part is when your partner has not had a MI and finds it difficult to understand. And this is where we come in. We have a common illness and understand others who need to manage their lives without being overwhelmed. It's good to talk to someone who has been there.

Listening is something a psychologist is supposed to do. Sadly, as in all professions, there are the good, the bad and the mediocre. When you find someone who 'gets' you, hang on to him/her. Why not try again? Have a chat to your GP and explain what has been happening. Ask her which psychs are considered good. GPs always know the good specialists, or at least my GP does. How do you feel about going to a psychiatrist? Much cheaper as their fees are always refunded, in part, by Medicare. Not so with psychologists as even on a Mental Health plan you can only have ten subsidised visits.

I go to a psychiatrist but I must admit I was not happy at first. Actually I have been to two psychiatrists, one many years ago. In my opinion he was pretty useless. My current psych is very good and doesn't miss anything. I count myself fortunate in that regard.

Please continue to post.

Mary

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White_Rose — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 11:01:52 GMT

Hello Lulu

Nice to meet you and thanks for your post. I will reply tomorrow. Bed calls.

Mary

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Stuckinaloop — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 20:13:49 GMT

Thank you LuLu and Mary,

Yes, Stuck is fine.

I understand what you are both saying, and thank you for the warm welcome. I was thinking more of a psychiatrist then a psychologist this time more so in my believe they may have more experience but more so to try someone different. I guess I really do need someone to actually listen and give me some real direction as I feel so lost. I was dreaming last night of just walking away. Pack a knapsack and just go...where I really don't know. I have this urge to find myself but I don't even know how to do that. I know I need help but it is just finding it. I guess you both know what I mean. I will keep going for now.

Thanks

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geoff — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 20:51:33 GMT

hi Missymoon and everyone else who has started their first post, welcome on board, and it's always lovely to have new members I only wish it was in much better circumstances, so we hope to hear back from you. Geoff.

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LuLu_ — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 21:28:50 GMT

Hi stuck

When my psychologist wasn’t working I was directed to a psychiatrist. It is my belief that psychiatrists are more for managing a persons medication than talk therapy. When I went to my psychiatrist she immediately put me on medication, she did help me understand my depression more in terms of symptoms and why I was acting and thinking in certain ways.

I hope you find some relief soon.

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White_Rose — Tue, 31 Oct 2017 03:28:15 GMT

Hello Missymoon

How are you going? We have not received a response from you and I wondered if there was anything wrong. Would love to get another post.

Hello Stuck

Lulu wrote, But I couldn't figure out my mental health. I believe this is true of all of us. There are people who have never asked for help and kept everything to themselves. Yes you can do this for a while. It requires a huge amount of self discipline which in turn uses up your energy. This energy I believe is better used in getting well again.

As far as you are concerned Stuck, you have struck a lemon in your quest for wellness. I want to urge you to try again. I had a useless psychiatrist and someone (now) who is great. Not much luck with psychologists due to costs or incompetence. It really helps to talk to someone. You are very welcome to continue talking here whether or not you find a professional medical person. The difference is that we speak from our various experiences which be helpful or not. I think sharing our stories is good for all of us and sharing management tips. Your psych can give you a process tailored for you.

I think most people who write here have a psych or counsellor or had one in the past. Someone we can trust with the murky bits of our journeys as well as the good bits. But most of all someone who does understand how the pain of our journeys.

Mary

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EdenF — Tue, 31 Oct 2017 03:34:36 GMT

I have witnessed this too Lulu. I have seen others visit psychiatrists and they seem to keep their patients on medication longer than any psychologist i have ever been too. I am a big fan of not being on medication a second long than i need to be to help me recover.

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White_Rose — Tue, 31 Oct 2017 03:42:28 GMT

Hello Lulu

Thanks for your post. Glad you have been able to look around the forum and found it helpful. You are right, everyone has a right to be where they can talk to others and fit in. This is of course why the forum was set up, to give a voice to those who had no other way to express themselves and get help.

So discouraging when our first psych does not help. It's a real discouragement and can put people off trying someone else. Glad you persevered. Do you believe your psychiatrist is helpful? It sounds as though you do. Many of them like to prescribe medication, and this can be a necessity for some medical conditions. My psych is good at looking at all my life and talking about the effects of past experiences. I feel I have learned a great deal and am now in a better place, despite having some difficulties at the moment.

I hope you will continue to write in to support others. If you have something you want to talk about please feel free to start your own thread. And write the name here so I can find you.😊

Mary

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LuLu_ — Tue, 31 Oct 2017 04:40:43 GMT

Hello White Rose

the reason I was directed to a psychiatrist was because I was too sick for any psychologist to make me feel better. In fact the therapy made me worse which is common when you are too depressed and anxious. My psychiatrist was there to get me healthy enough for the talk therapy to work. I do talk to her but only for her to get a general idea of how my mood is and whether my medication needs adjusting.

I have found her extremely helpful to get me to a point where therapy didn’t make me feel worse. Personally I like my psychologist better than my psychiatrist just because we have a really good relationship and she’s the one I talk to about almost everything. I contact her when i am going through a dark phase and she’s always there to offer support.

My first psychologist never answered my questions. She always said something like “how does that make you feel” or “what do you think that could mean”. it made me so confused and angry because I was there for answers not so she could ask me questions about the questions that I had no idea how to answer. I understand the questioning is apart of therapy methods but at the time for me it was far too much.

i do have my own thread. Its called “I have everything, yet I am deeply unhappy”. I am struggling a bit at the moment and not sure how to reach out.

I hope you are well

lulu

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Missymoon — Tue, 31 Oct 2017 22:55:09 GMT

Hi Lstewie and everyone, thank you all for the replies. I was diagnosed with depression 7 years ago, could not function properly for about six months and my wonderful son stepped up as just turned 21 year old and was just there for me and we worked through it together. The rest of my family did not understand and still find it hard to understand when i explain how it is to have depression and this makes it hard for everyone when i have a bad day/time. Thank you for the information about the books will definitely look for those. At the moment i am finding it a challenge in certain (work & family) situations with people and wondering if the paranoid thoughts that i am having, are they my instincts and experience talking or am i projecting these thoughts into these situations.

Missymoon

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Stuckinaloop — Tue, 31 Oct 2017 23:22:29 GMT

I know what you mean too LuLu. I went and saw my first psychologist and she gave me the same deal. That was why I was so turned off and yes, even more confused. I saw her for 5 months and kept trying to reach out but I kept getting the same deal. It did, however, teach me that talking about it IS the best medicine...it is just finding the right person and thats where I believe, people struggle even more. They are so desperate to get help that flounder trying to find it. I am feeling a bit better by coming here, thats for sure. I am a little teary eyed but able to function at least.

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LuLu_ — Wed, 01 Nov 2017 00:27:56 GMT

Hi stuck

have you been able to find medical professionals that are making a difference? I hope you have. Or a support network that is making you feel better?

i am glad you are able to function but I hope you do find happiness eventually

lulu

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Missymoon — Wed, 01 Nov 2017 11:32:35 GMT

Hi Whiterose, thanks for your post, am still navigating my way round using the forum.