topic Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety..... in Welcome and orientation

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Vince_Noir — Sat, 14 Jan 2017 02:10:27 GMT

Hi all

I've been reading the boards for a few months now whilst working up the courage to post myself.

Reading the forums has helped to erode the sense of isolation which often accompanies mental illness. You get to read the contributions of others who are going through or have been through the same experiences as you.

I've suffered from anxiety my whole life, though up until 18 months ago I'd always managed to deal with it. At this point a few issues in my life (family illness and difficulties at work mainly) caused the anxiety to spiral and after trying to manage it on my own I eventually sought counselling about this time last year. I undertook a course of CBT, made some changes in my life and now practice Mindfulness every day. I exercise regularly including a cheeky bit of yoga from time to time. I have a beautiful and supportive wife who is my rock.

I still have bad days and I doubt the anxious thoughts will ever pass completely however, it does get better.

The Beyondblue website gave me the confidence to seek help. It made me realize that I wasn't a freak.

I'll always be thankful Beyondblue.

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Croix — Sat, 14 Jan 2017 02:43:56 GMT

Dear Vince~

I don't know where your other post is so please bear with me. It sounds like bb has been a bit of a help to you.

You sound grounded, upbeat and taking control of your situation, as well as having support. This to many is a far-off dream.

I'm not glossing over that in everyone's case there are waves of good and bad, so please don't think I'm taking your history lightly. As a sufferer of the PTSD, Chronic Anxiety etc 'experience' I can well understand.

What I'd like to suggest, rather than only giving a general thank you -which is indeed appreciated, you see if there are others you can relate to and where appropriate give them some insights out of the things you have undergone.

You never know, you may pick up helpful ideas too - I find I do, even after 30+ years of illness.

Anyway my best wishes

Croix

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Starwolf — Sat, 14 Jan 2017 02:55:29 GMT

Hi Vince Noir,

Kudos to you for taking the plunge. You are so right...these forums exist to give silent suffering a voice and make people realize that there is nothing freakish about mental conditions. Statistics remind us that the ratio is 1 in 5. And what about all those who don't come out to be counted ?

Well done for taking the proactive approach. Because acknowledging we have a problem and reaching out for help is the first courageous step towards helping ourselves. It is good to know of your progress towards recovery.

A big thank you for encouraging those who hesitate to make this all important decision. Your contribution here is much appreciated. Your words will inspire others.

Kindest thoughts.

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Moonstruck — Sat, 14 Jan 2017 06:09:43 GMT

Saying Hello to Vince Noir.......to let him know I get anxious about posting a thread about anxiety too just about all the time actually (and yes of course I appreciate the irony).. Which is why I have been tending to stay in the Social Zones....even though I have serious topics and worrying stuff going on with me.

I used to reply to some Newbies' original posts too, that I really felt I connected with and wanted to give words of solace and understanding to. After getting mine, a few of them disappeared from Forum altogether, never to be heard from again!!

So I am obviously useless at trying to support others too! I wonder what I am saying/writing wrong? No doubt I'll drop in to the BB Cafe and be flippant on Thread Killer etc, while my pain inside lies dormant - it seems to me it's either too trivial (compared to others situations here) or too self pitying...I can't seem to get it right.

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Croix — Sat, 14 Jan 2017 06:14:14 GMT

Dear Moonstruck~

Would you mind If I mentioned something here? - don't answer if you'd rather I didn't.

Croix

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Moonstruck — Sat, 14 Jan 2017 07:39:14 GMT

Well I don't know what it is yet Croix do I? Will it hurt me? Make me cry? Get me all paranoid trying to seek out hidden subtle meanings or something? Knowing you, it will surely be something nice.......won't it?

You are free to mention anything you wish my friend......I'm sure if the moderators think I'm too fragile to handle it, they'll sweeten it up or something won't they?.........(be gentle with me)

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Quiettall — Sat, 14 Jan 2017 07:48:24 GMT

Hi Vince and the others

Many who read these posts have not come to the point in life where they recognise or seek diagnosis and treatment for their anxiety and/or depression. Yet this service is so valuable and I find just sharing, supporting and encouraging others, I have learnt so much about myself and how to deal better with situations I confront everyday. It is so refreshing to read such a positive post such as Vince's.

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Croix — Sat, 14 Jan 2017 11:43:58 GMT

Dear Moonstruck~

Please read on without apprehension. I would never willing hurt anyone here. If I cannot say something without causing harm I'll just keep silent. I may often be clumsy, occasionally thoughtless. I'm afraid I have to rely upon peoples' generosity to overlook that. I try.

Now, you said:

So I am obviously useless at trying to support others too! I wonder what I am saying/writing wrong?

Nothing. Like so many your words are bought with the coin of harsh experience, they are thus of great value. They can assist - you may never know it.

There are an staggering number of people that look though this site, and never post. They get their needs at least partially answered merely by reading - your posts included - never posting.

There is a very much smaller number (only a fraction) that post. They are always answered, often by several, occasionally in the past by you.

An even smaller number again post more than once - even though they may read all the replies to their single message.

One cannot even really pick out which words spark recognition and comfort in all those that only read and do not reply back. The only measure of success is that the Forum has a massive amount of onlookers and that the number does not diminish - quite the reverse.

Please don't devalue your efforts.

I'm glad you called me friend.

Croix (Who certifies this post is hidden-meaning free 🙂

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Moonstruck — Sun, 15 Jan 2017 00:13:43 GMT

Thanks for being kind Croix.

Yes I hope that my simply replying and saying "I understand" to new members gives some solace to them, whether we hear from them again or not. Sara's thread of "putting yourself first" struck a chord in me, as I said on there, it is a foreign concept to me.

some time back my psych said something that was like a bolt out of the blue, like some "big newsflash" I never knew about before!! I'll tell you about it - I had just decided on my finishing date with a part time job and boss whose outrageous demands and intrusion into my "time off" was exacerbating my health, anxiety levels greatly and also ended a long-time personal relationship with a guy.......she knew I had a problem with "pleasing others and going the extra mile" terrified of abandonment or someone expressing displeasure if I did so etc.

Her casual remark was "You can now do whatever you like". what, what did you say? "e.g. when you leave here, you can do what you like, you can go for coffee if you want, you can have 2 if you want, sit there as long as you want and relax. You can take yourself for lunch if you want to...anywhere you like, and stay all afternoon if you like! Let's see, you can go to a movie instead if you like - you owe nobody anything for the rest of today.

YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT."..........My mouth dropped open, could she be correct? Could I really choose for myself,how I spent the day. Could such freedom exist?.What if someone saw me casually having lunch at a cafe alone?. Wasn't there something more useful, productive, something "for someone else" I SHOULD be doing. Wouldn't that be selfish of me, to decide for myself instead of fulfilling another's wishes?

....so unfamiliar a concept it is taking a long long time to adjust to. See u later, friend.

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Croix — Sun, 15 Jan 2017 00:54:57 GMT

Dear Moonstruck~

As someone who has faced similar problems please let me say that the fact that you posted, and your retelling of your experience has helped and encouraged me personally.

Croix (who is a work in progress too)

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Vince_Noir — Sat, 21 Jan 2017 00:39:32 GMT

Thanks all for the kind words and support. Much appreciated.

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Moonstruck — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 06:08:22 GMT

Here I go again. I am anxious about posting this about Anxiety...exactly what this thread was started for. I still am - so I don't seem to have made much progress do I? You can tell when my anxiety is getting high as I seem to post stuff in all the Social places, being light-hearted when I am not!

I am too anxious to post in Anxiety you see - how's that for craziness? I wonder what you will think of me? I wonder if the post will remain unanswered - I became afraid that it will remain unanswered, then I will feel worse! I get paranoid and over-think what I will write - what if it's not OK. not good enough? What if it sounds crazy, too crazy to answer or even take seriously.

The excessive heat here is getting me down..seriously down. It's affecting my morale something dramatic - I just can't bear it any longer. There is no relief.

It's not just physical discomfort - it's like being slowly tortured - being in a hot oven prison I can't escape from. things we love are dying..plants, animals, birds...our very life-force and energy. It's like dying of thirst in a desert. It makes me ill. No one understands.

I have things and people who are beautiful. They are beautiful enough to make me "happy". You know what I usually feel when I see how lucky I am to have them - my gorgeous grand children, my family, my friends? I feel sad and scared. Scared that something will happen to them. Or they will stop liking me.

The children are so innocent - pain awaits them as they grow older. I cannot prevent pain and bad things happening to them these innocent babies.

The more beautiful things and people are in my life...the greater the pain of losing them. The possibility is always there. Perhaps best to have nothing we love, nothing we value, then we can't have the pain of losing it!

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Moonstruck — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 06:19:37 GMT

See I even stuffed that up! I wanted to post this in "Anxiety" not realising it was in Welcome & Orientation.....see what I mean. Now the people I wanted to see it probably won't even see it!!

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Croix — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 07:36:08 GMT

Dear Moon~

Please try again, you will get there, there is no hassle - posting in the wrong place,no matter how many times, is truly trivial.

May I ma a comment that is serious?

Perhaps best to have nothing we love, nothing we value, then we can't have the pain of losing it!

I think, for me - and for any human with a heart - that would be condemning them to a lifetime of pain, even if they were unaware of it.

Croix (who will have to stop posting or people will talk - The Bowling Blonde & a Walrus?)

Appreciating the irony of being anxious about posting a thread about anxiety.....

Moonstruck — Thu, 09 Feb 2017 11:16:03 GMT

"as the actress said to the Bishop............."