topic Just joined/introduction/extreme depression in Welcome and orientation

Just joined/introduction/extreme depression

c4alien — Thu, 30 Jun 2016 00:44:52 GMT

Hi, I'm Chris.

Just joined up here.

Have had a long (very long - 20+ years) battle with depression. Recently, I was injured at work and had to have surgery. I had a breakdown in the waiting room at the day procedure centre and haven't recovered. In fact, it's gotten worse. I am extremely depressed and anxious. Withdrawn from my family and friends. Can't answer the phone. Can't go out.

Got an appointment with a psychologist in the middle of next month. That seems so far away...

I have suicidal thoughts, but that's all they are. My wife and kids are my safety net. Even though we fight a lot and my depression, frustration and sometimes anger effects them negatively. Which in turn creates more anger, frustration, guilt and depression.

My doctor is really helpful. But lately my antidepressant medication has been increased and she's also prescribed me some benzodiazepenes so that I can "get a bit of a break from myself".

I don't know what to think or feel at the moment. Just drifting along in limbo. Not working and not going back any time soon...

I've also been experiencingchronic pain due to my hip. Which I'm also waiting for surgery on. My body is falling apart. My mind is falling apart. And my life is falling apart.

I'm lost. Feel lost and don't know what to do or where to go. Just me. Here. In this. Now.

I've got some good friends online that I can talk to. But nothing too deep.

I can't talk to anyone about my feelings or experience. Guess that's what brought me here.

So. Here I am. And there you are.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Just joined/introduction/extreme depression

white knight — Thu, 30 Jun 2016 13:38:06 GMT

Hi c4alien, welcome

You are in no mans land ATM. I know the feeling. I'm retired now but over 42 working years I had 3 workplace accidents. Not many people know the strain it places on your home life.

Financial pressure might also be present. I'll recommend a few sites you can google

Topic: healthy marriage hobbies and spirit- beyondblue

Topic: depression and sensitivity a connection?- beyondblue

Topic: depression a ship on the high seas- beyondblue

Glad you are here. Its a great community

Tony WK

Just joined/introduction/extreme depression

blondguy — Thu, 30 Jun 2016 20:48:40 GMT

Hello c4alien

Welcome to you and for having the strength to post too!

You are in a dark place. I have depression since 1997 and take AD's and a benzo to 'take the edge off'.

I notice that you have a long wait for your psychologist. That can make anyone feel worse despite the severity of the depression.

I also was at the stage where I couldnt answer the phone as my brain was falling apart too.

Its just an idea that may help bring some comfort, see if your local council has a mental health worker. Most do have one. I had a psychiatric nurse that saw me twice a week for 6months and gave me my peace back. He was one of the best counselors I have ever had help from. That was for severe depression and acute anxiety.

I think I had to wait 2 days to see him.

I hope some of this has helped. It would be great if you could post back as many times as you wish 🙂

My kind thoughts for you

Paul