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Overthinking everything

Shell76 — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 12:27:40 GMT

Hi Everyone. i have been reading your posts for some time now and take comfort in knowing I am not alone.

I like to read them when my daughter is asleep and the house is quiet. I have found that noise and chatter is overwhelming and makes me anxious. Likely that I cant hear myself think. And over thinking is what I do best.

I have depression and anxiety that is generally under control. But when it is not - then i struggle. I have alot of self worth issues. I am seeing a Psycologist (2yrs - 4yrs ago and I am back there again) . i have a good relationship with him and we worked through my past present and future. But now I feel that i have been given the tools, and there is no other help for me. I advised him that i am on medication, and he said I didn't need it as I am not crying in his office. I have been over thinking this statement and now left with this feeling that he doesnt get me, although he wants to continue to see me. If only i new where the off switch was? I just go round in circles and get angry at myself for over thinking and angry that I am still overthinking.

Thanks for reading

Michelle

Overthinking everything

MsPurple — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 13:16:45 GMT

Hi Michelle

Thanks for commenting on the forums. I find it quite odd that your psychologist would say that. I think it is not his place to be discussing medication with you. They should be discussing their concerns directly to the psychiatrist if they have a problem with your current prescription. Also some people are not 'cryers'. I know I can get teary but I don't generally cry in my psychology sessions. I usually try hold it in. I think some people are so used to putting on a brave face in public that they do the same in a session. Also I know you have seen him in the past, but a 2 year break is a long time, so you may still be not confident with him hence the brave face and not crying. Either way I do not think it is his place to comment on the medications other than 'maybe you should discuss other options with him other then meds' or something along those lines.

I would be angry at yourself. If anything he is in the wrong. Your doctor probably has a closer relationship to you at this point in time so I would follow their advice. Maybe discuss it with them if you have concerns. Also although you say this psychologist a few years ago and it was a good relationship, don't be discouraged if the relationship doesn't work this time. Sometimes it takes a change in psychologist to make the right fit for your at a particular point in time. Does that make sense?

Overthinking everything

white knight — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 13:20:56 GMT

Hi Shell, welcome

Nothing worse than an over active mind. It wears you out going in circles.

You can alleviate it a little by diverting your energy with hobbies even a jigsaw.

Ive got the following you might find helpful. Google them

Topic: nip it in the bud, ideas- beyondblue

Topic: your secret for mind control- beyondblue

Topic: who cries over spilt milk- beyondblue

Topic: festering issues or moving on- beyondblue

I hope you get something out of those. As for your psych, they are human too, they say the wrong thing sometimes.

Tony WK

Overthinking everything

SourceShield — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 13:22:20 GMT

Hi Shell,

Thank you for sharing how life is, and has been for you.

You are definitely not alone.

Trust that your psych has your best interests at heart.

Remember that 'over-thinking' is part of the condition.

When we are anxious, we are thinking about perceived-threats...so things that we perceive may happen in the future.

We do this because...we are nervous by design!

Thats why we have a 'nervous system'.

But, the operative word is 'perceived'!.

The thing with 'tools' is that theyre no good, if we dont use them consistently, and make a sincere effort to practise with them, doing our best to incorporate them into our everyday life.

This takes time, and space.

I remember when my psych in Cairns, whom I absolutely loved, told me that I didnt need to see her anymore!

At first I felt rejected!

But, as she pointed out...part of her job is to make sure that I dont get attached to her as my 'saviour', so that I can learn to be healthy and happy in my life, as my own man.

Not that she wouldnt be there if I really needed her, but more-so...It was like I had to wean myself off of her.

First one meeting a week, then once every two weeks, then once a month!

And eventually...I knew that I was ready to move on without her.

If your psych has observed a positive change in your behaviour i.e. you not crying in their office!, then its important that you start to see that as a positive move forward as well.

Remember that each and everyone of us feel nervous, when we do something for the first time...and that includes implementing emotionally-healthy tools into ones life.

What youre feeling is normal and natural.

Have you ever had a conversation with that voice in your head that likes to overthink?

Have you ever tried just saying NO to that voice?

What I mean is, as soon as you observe the overthinking, do a Byron Katie technique, and remember that what you are thinking FEELS real but it isnt true.

And, as soon as you observe that this thought is real but not true...you can say NO to that thought.

No - I will not engage.

This thought feels real but it is not true.

When we start to relate to the thought rather than from the thought...we take back the control.

Remember that part of this condition is also the self-loathing...do your best to be as gentle and as kid as you can with yourself, right now...youve been through enough now...try tenderness, and loving-kindness.

We are here for you.

Join in on all the fun.

Stay in touch.

MuchLove

Overthinking everything

Shell76 — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 20:32:30 GMT

Hi MsPurple, Tony and SourceShield

Thank you taking the time to reply to my post. I really appreciate it.

I agree that some peiple are not cryers. I do cry all the time. But when I am comfortable and non threatened then physical crying does not occur, i am thou crying on the inside.

My Psychologist is moving practices up the coast soon. so perhaps this is my chance yo move on from him. Although the thought of starting again is difficult.

In my session it got to a free point where I asked him questions ie. i have just started to get aura vision problems in one eye (I did think I was having a stroke) and asked if this could be high levels of stress and anxiety, medication - am I worth taking it. thats when he told me about the non crying and that I dont need it. It was a formal setting, but with informal questions from me. I just wanted to know? anyway I am on the waitlist for December if he is still around then I will discuss it with him.

Thank you for the research sites. I will have a good read of them.

I do try to stop my voices in my head and divert the attention away. But when I am consumed by one thing, I find it hard to break away from it or even begin/start. It is a constant battle between my head and I.

much love to all of you

Michelle xx