topic New here - Introduction / a bit about myself in Welcome and orientation

New here - Introduction / a bit about myself

EN76 — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 07:33:46 GMT

Hi all,

Firstly, I have come here as it seems like a great community of people who actually understand what mental illness is and how it can affect ones life.

My story starts a few years ago when I nearly lost everything from a bad business decision. Our family home was almost repossessed as I ignored calls and shut off the outside world. I regularly contemplated suicide - but couldnt do it to my wife and children.

Every day consisted of me putting on a brave face and telling everyone I was OK, whilst I was being eaten from the inside by depression, guilt , helplessness and loneliness. I turned to drinking quite frequently, and would often come home late just so I didnt have to face reality.

I eventually took a few months out to clear my head and took back control once again - we kept the house and I felt great.

A couple of years past, and life was not perfect - but a lot better.

Earlier this year, we started experiencing some financial difficulty again - but nothing that we couldnt get through, however all the prior feelings I had experienced a few years ago came back a lot stronger than before. I choose to ignore them, but each day I started becoming more and more anxious - almost avoiding talking to anyone.

My anxiety levels are at such a point where I have taken this week off of work, and I sit here typing this to share my experience and learn from others that have been or are going through similar situations.

Thank you for reading!

New here - Introduction / a bit about myself

blondguy — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 17:45:09 GMT

Hello EN76

Welcome to the forums

You are very strong by reaching out and posting. It takes a lot of courage and good on you!

Thankyou for the really kind words about the BB community EN...It means a great deal 🙂

Making a bad business decision is crushing....but I admire you for having the guts to make a decision re a business venture in the first place. You are a talented person who actually had the foresight to go ahead and make the best decision you could have at the time. I am one of the majority that doesnt have the courage to do as you have.

The bad feelings coming back (anxiety/depression) after a couple of years is actually very common with high achievers EN. I have had severe/acute anxiety and depression for many years and I am like yourself.....over it!!

You are also smart enough to have taken the week off too. I have been involved in corporate Oz for while now and have 'nearly' lost my home as well....I remember the pain and anguish that comes with dealing with the banks.

Just a couple of tips that I hope can help...even a little

Anxiety feelings no matter how severe do lessen in severity over time..with regular help from your GP
Anxiety and/or depression can be reversed with a good counselor on a regular basis, weekly/fortnightly
Anxiety is no different to a physiological problem...diabetes....a severe infection....hypertension...
Ignoring anxiety/depression is noble..but as they are chemically based....its only a short term fix

The above points are only my thoughts and tips since my first major anxiety attack in traffic in 1983...I tried to 'cope' with it and was kicked very hard by a wonderful female GP that read me the riot act on my illness...I thought I could get over it but I was wrong...big time.

I see a very strong person and it actually feels like I am reading my own history EN.

If I can ask you just a couple of questions...just so I can be of more assistance to you...Have you seen your GP about your anxiety?......Also, what are you going to do on your week off?

There are many super kind people on the forums besides myself that suffer the pain you do. It would be great if you could post back:-) If you have questions just ask.....you are not alone here EN.

My Kind thoughts for you

Paul

New here - Introduction / a bit about myself

geoff — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 18:38:46 GMT

hi EN, and thanks Paul for those helpful tips and I too was lucky that our house wasn't repossessed but managed to sell it before this did happen, because these banks don't give a damn about what has been or what is happening with you personally.
We just can't keep saying to people that we are alright when in fact we are struggling like hell, and what we can do is hide it all behind alcohol, which does seem to be a good solution, but in fact it only makes the situation worse, because it's something that we really can't keep pushing away, which is what we do when we are frightened of the outcome.
Depression or anxiety or any other type of this illness is just so strong, it actually tells us what we should be doing and not what we need to do, and that's the catch, so what this means is that somehow we have to find the ability to seek help, because it's impossible for us to overcome any of this by ourselves, even though we may delay getting help, or think that 'I will next week', but next week doesn't come and so we get worse, but there's an old saying 'nip it in the bud'.
How many times in the past should have we done this, but left it too late, only for the problem to escalate. Geoff.

New here - Introduction / a bit about myself

EN76 — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 21:27:37 GMT

Hi Paul,

Thanks for the detailed reply.

I am actually booked in to see a GP this morning, although I have seen one in the past to get a referral for a psychologist and never ended up going. Whenever I have tried talking to someone, as soon as I can feel myself getting emotional, I just shut down and play the whole thing down.

I am hoping that I can find the courage to tell the GP exactly how I have been feeling this time.

As for my week off, I am trying to relax as much as possible and have some sort of plan to start helping me to cope. My anxiety has been affecting my performance at work and I need to have it back under control so I dont loose my job (it would be a financial disaster for us) - this is adding to the pressure I am feeling.

I will let you know how I go with the GP!

Thanks!

New here - Introduction / a bit about myself

White_Rose — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 22:01:27 GMT

Dear EN

Many thanks for telling us your story and welcome to Beyond Blue. So pleased you are going to see your GP. When you feel yourself getting emotional just stop for a moment and take breath. When the emotions arise and the deep breath does not work, then cry. I know it's embarrassing but I will guarantee your GP has seen this before, both men and women. Tears are part of the healing process so let them flow.

I saw a specialist yesterday and burst into tears because a comment triggered another event in my memory. The doc gave me a box of tissues. I had never met him before and felt rather silly, but he was OK. Tears are not the sole domain of women. Just as real men eat quiche, so men also need to cry at times. My son-in-law cried on my shoulder when his wife miscarried and felt better for it.

Please don't downplay your feelings or what is happening to you. You will recover more quickly if you express exactly what is happening. If you think you may not have the strength to say a great deal, then copy your posts, or the whole thread, and print them. You can then either hand the notes to your GP or read from them.

Please continue to write in.

Mary

New here - Introduction / a bit about myself

EN76 — Tue, 14 Jun 2016 06:44:06 GMT

Thank you for the kind words.

I went to see the GP and she was great - actually asked my all the difficult questions that I would've probably not volunteered the information for.

She completed a health assessment for work, and I have a new referral to a psychologist she recommends.

We discussed in length medications available and the pro's and con's - so now I have to keep the ball rolling and stick at this!

New here - Introduction / a bit about myself

White_Rose — Tue, 14 Jun 2016 22:12:57 GMT

You cannot imagine how pleased I am with the success of the visit to your GP. Your GP sounds to be on the ball, and obviously has already helped you greatly. Yes, a good GP knows how to tackle the hard bits and doesn't pussyfoot around the subject. How did you feel afterwards? In fact how did you feel while talking to your GP? In any future visits you will be more comfortable. Are you going to take any medication?

I hope all goes well at work with your health assessment. Have you discussed any of this with your manager/boss or any colleagues?

The sad part about having previous problems is when something similar pops up again. Then all the symptoms and feelings resurface and unless we get on top of it quickly, it will lead us down the old road.

We all know about wearing masks to hide our real feelings. And it's OK at times. If you can get through your day at work concentrating on the task at hand, it does give you some respite from the bad feelings. Be careful about making the mask a habit. You said you would not have raised some points with your doctor, but because she raised these points you were able to talk about them. So keep up the good work when you see your doctor again and also with the psychologist when you see him/her. Don't wait to be asked, just let it hang out. Hanging on to your feelings is wearing a mask.

Anxiety nagging away at the back of your mind can be hard to ignore. So here's a suggestion. When/if this happens, stop what you are doing and look at the anxiety (just a couple of seconds) and name the thought. Then put it to one side and carry on. Trying to push it down does not work but an open acknowledgement does.

I hope the rest of your week off work goes well. Perhaps you can think of hobbies you once enjoyed and return to them in the way Tony has described.

Mary

New here - Introduction / a bit about myself

blondguy — Tue, 14 Jun 2016 23:05:59 GMT

Hi EN

Thanks for writing back:-)

You have done really well here with your GP. Good on you too for charging at this like a bull. Go for it. With the ongoing and regular support you will find that your 'bottom line' strength levels will improve and strengthen.

I tried to work with my anxiety which I thought was a sign of strength but I was wrong. Just for me my anxiety levels deceased significantly after meds and regular counseling. My work performance also increased 🙂

Your attitude is great and the symptoms will dissipate EN.

You are not alone EN. We are here for you

Kind Thoughts

Paul