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First post - thanks for having me

pinkroses — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 09:07:58 GMT

Hi everyone, I would describe myself as having anxiety my entire life from what I can remember, even as a child.

For me, anxiety is never being able to cope with working full time (or close to it), being extremely over-sensitive & over thinking.

I am 25 y.o. & have just completed a diploma of nursing which is my greatest accomplishment to date. I am very proud of it. I just got offered my first nursing job & have completed the training for the site. I have felt so anxious & depressed but I'm not really sure how to explain it. they want me to start tomorrow & i have just ignored their calls as i feel the woman i spoke to today pressured me into starting tomorrow.

I have another job which I absoloutley love (6-10 hours a week) that is completely stress free looking after children. I am unsure if it is stress free as I am on my own - well no other adults. I have never been able to accept criticism & that is something my nanny job offers. I am well respected by this particular family & love the children. For the 1st time in my life I actually look forward to my job. I have tried doing more than 10 hours a week but begin to fixate on those shifts & can't sleep.

Anyway back to my current problem - I don't think I should have accepted this current nursing job as it is 1.5 hours drive my house (traffic / long drives make me very anxious) & it's not the sector I want to work in as it's very fast paced & I like to take my time / not feel pressured. Im really questioning myself as to whether I should have done the nursing course as I have never been able to deal with pressure / stress (Even though throughout my many jobs I have had, I'm told that I am an excellent worker). I feel really upset @ the though of doing so much study & then most likely I just won't contact the company again & will not pursue nursing.

I feel as though my only option is to apply for the disability pension - which is hard to imagine for me, but I have never coped with more than 10 hours a week of work. I have tried many medications & fortnightly psychology appointments. But haven't really found much improvement.

It is quite hard for those around me as they don't understand my anxiety.

I have no idea what to do next. I really enjoy just being home by myself with my dog watching movies or doing a work out with my personal trainer.

First post - thanks for having me

Emilyj92 — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 09:23:08 GMT

Hey there 🙂

thank you for posting, it is my first time posting tonight too so you have just helped make this leap so much easier for me. Congratulations on completing your nursing diploma that really is a great achievement and you should be proud. I can understand your stress, although I haven't got a diploma in anything I am currently working in childcare full time and I am not coping at all . I'm not 100% sure what you should do but I feel that honesty is always the best policy, and although the people at your new job may not understand your reasons for not being able to work you will most likely feel better knowing you've been upfront with them. Maybe give them a call and explain that you understand you applied for the job however, due to personal circumstances you now cannot accept the position.

It seems like such a small step but it's actually quite a large one knowing you can confront your fears.

I'm sorry if it hasn't helped much but I do hope you find strength we are all in this together 🙂

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MsPurple — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 10:17:40 GMT

Hi pinkroses. Welcome to the BB forums. I thought I should let you know that all forum users are like you. Many of us have a mental illness/concerns or are a carer of someone with a mental illness. We are not professionals (except Dr Kim) so if your professional (such as GP or psych) listen to them over a forum user. Just thought I should let you know this before we start

Congrats on completing your diploma of nursing. This is a great step and I know how anxiety can make studying an extra challenge (not easy to study when anxiety causes concentration problems and constant dread). As for working this new job, have you talked to your psych about your concern? What was their opinion? I am not sure which is the right answer for your situation, but have you considered giving the job a try? Seeing how it goes for you? A lot of hospitals will made adaptions if necessary for you. Australia does have strict anti discrimination laws, however it is still a stigma unfortunately. My mum works in aged care have you considered this? I ask because aged care is a slower paced environment with less pressure and stress. This could be an alternative for you. My mum loves working in aged care, the oldies/residence are so appreciative of a friendly face who treats them with kindness and respect.

I hope some of this has helped you. Keep us updated

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pipsy — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 10:40:22 GMT

Hi pinkroses. Congrats on getting a diploma, what an achievement. Perhaps your objective initially was to prove to yourself that you could do it. I also tend to think when you accepted the position offered, you took it without really thinking it through. Then when you thought about it, you decided it wasn't 'you'. There's nothing wrong in admitting something doesn't suit you, be it a job or something you buy. Changing your mind is your prerogative. However, in fairness to the person who offered you the position, telling her you have changed your mind would be the right thing to do. You don't owe them an explanation, whether you tell them personal reasons now stop you from taking the job, or whether you just say that at the moment, you don't feel comfortable about accepting it, but thank them for choosing you. Whatever you tell them is up to you. One thing I would like to suggest is, could you incorporate your nurse training into your current job with the children. Have you actually stopped your job as a nanny? If you still have it, there's no reason for you to change, or apply for a disability pension. Maybe give yourself another year before considering a change. That way, you might feel more confident. Perhaps discuss it further with your psych before you make up your mind. Maybe keep up with the study side of it, as nursing changes so much. But stressing out often makes us do something we later regret.

Lynda

First post - thanks for having me

White_Rose — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 11:35:40 GMT

Dear Pinkroses

What a lovely name. It makes remember the smell of roses and how pretty they look when in bloom. Thanks for telling us your story and welcome to Beyond Blue. As Emilyj92 has said, it can be hard to write your first post so put that on the plus side of the ledger. When you feel anxious remember you have done something many others have not yet found the courage to do.

Whatever your reasons for starting a Diploma in Nursing, the end result is that you have one more item to add to your list of things done well. So be proud of yourself because nursing is not an easy road, especially when you are battling your anxiety.

I think you have already started to make a pros and cons list, at least in your mind. It would be very helpful to you if you completed that exercise. Write down every reason you can think of for accepting the job and every reason for not accepting. Then make your decision based on these reasons. I think you will find one or other will leap out, so to speak, as the choice you will feel happiest with. And this is the road for you.

I am guessing that whichever choice you make will entail telling someone you are leaving or not starting. How do you feel about that? It can be difficult to say you have decided to leave, or not take a job. So when you have made your decision write down what you want to say and practice saying it a few times before you make the phone call. It really helps to know what you are going to say and rehearse a little.

You are the person doing the job so you must be sure it's what you want and that you can get there without exhausting yourself with worry. Have a chat to your psych before making the final decision. Time is a problem. You can however ask to start the nursing job a little later than requested as you have some things which need completing first. Then chat to the psych and make a final decision.

Remember that your completed your training, both the formal training (diploma) and the in-house training and met the requirements. So another tick on the positive side of the ledger. Overall I believe you have demonstrated your ability in an area that has been difficult for you coping with anxiety. Whether or not you take the nursing job, always remember you succeeded in your training and presentation despite , probably, feeling like jelly inside. Sometimes we need to push ourselves into situations where we are nervous because then we find how far our real strength goes. Love to know your decision.

Mary

First post - thanks for having me

pinkroses — Thu, 15 Dec 2016 08:12:40 GMT

In response to Pipsy-

Hi Pipsy 🙂 Thank you for your reply.

Yes that sounds right, I think my objective was to choose the course at my local TAFE I thought I would find the most challenging & then enrolled. I was in a bit of a rut (hadn't worked in 2 years) & wanted to do something with my life. I have always loved studying & exams! I am a little weird like that lol.

I do think that the company deserves to be told by me what is going on. It is a bit of a complicated situation I feel...my fiancees' sister actually works at this place & asked me to send through my resume, I didn't feel comfortable doing this because it is an aged care home. I do not like the fast pace of it but I felt desperate for work (I have been applying for jobs in community work or in doctors practices but kept getting rejected). I didn't think it through & I should have. I have had my phone off all day. I don't know how to tell my fiancee the position Iv got myself into (his sister hasn't contacted him as far as I know). He would be annoyed if I told him I didn't call them back last night to confirm the shift for today (1st buddy shift). I was overwhelmed at the time as a clinical nurse rang me around 2pm & asked if i could start @7am today. I said yes straight away (I have an issue saying no). But she needed me to complete online training first. I didn't get it done in time & rang to tell her but she was doing med rounds, so i left a message for her to call me back with a man. I then had centrelink call me & I was sorting that out around 5pm, so I wasn't sure if they had rang me back or not but I felt relieved to know that I didn't have to go in today. I have been so exhausted from a sinus & respiratory infection - I wish I had just told them this yesterday - now I feel like it has gone too far for me?

I am still working as a nanny & have a shift tomorrow night I am really looking forward to! The company is quite large so I am thinking I could call them & ask if there is any nursing kind of roles in the company. I work much better either by myself or within a really small group.

Sorry for the long reply - hopefully it makes some kind of sense.

I don't know what the next step is. I think my fiancee can help me maybe discuss what is going on, we could talk to his sister together. I don't know. Ash x

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pinkroses — Thu, 15 Dec 2016 08:18:46 GMT

Hi Emilyj92!

Congrats on working full time - Im not sure how long you have been doing it for but that is amazing.

Have you talked to anyone in your workplace about reducing your hours? Iv never had that conversation.

Thank you for your reply & support xoxo

First post - thanks for having me

pipsy — Thu, 15 Dec 2016 08:58:23 GMT

Hi pinkroses. Trying to please everyone but yourself is not a good idea. I suggest you just be totally honest about why you can't do this job. It's possible you were in awe about the job because you saw how your fiancée's sister handled it and you may have thought, if she can do it, so can I. This sort of feeling is quite normal, we often admire someone in a stressful job and think we can do it too. Then we see the 'behind the scenes' side and realize it's more complicated than we thought. Studying for the diploma was also not quite what you thought, so this too would've made you question 'why'. It's hard having to accept we can't do a particular job others seem to manage without blinking an eye. However, the job you do with being a nanny would present challenges, possibly your future sister-in-law couldn't handle. I know I wouldn't be able to look after children. I have enough problems dealing with grown children. In the long run, being happy is what's important.

Lynda