topic Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀 in Welcome and orientation

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

Evie79 — Mon, 23 May 2016 10:16:51 GMT

Hi all my name is Evie,

i have been suffering from anxiety and depression on and off for many years now, I am a mother of two and been married for nearly 16 yrs.

I am hoping I can get advise from fellow sufferers and just to have general chit chat with people dealing with the same illness.

Looking forward to hearing from you 😀😀

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

pipsy — Mon, 23 May 2016 10:47:34 GMT

Hi Evie. I'm so sorry to hear you have this terrible problem. I suffered for many years too. Mine was mainly lack of family support when I was abused by a member of the family. My mum knew, she also knew who attacked me, but favoured him. My dad never knew, I was told if I told him and he left, it would be my fault. For years I believed that. My in-laws (ex, now) abused me, with my ex-husbands full support. I left him last year with the support and friendship shown here. Since leaving him and re-building my life through the friendship and support here, my life has turned around. I still have moments, but knowing I'm not alone has been amazing. Now you've reached out, you'll never be alone either. No matter how often you come to the forums, there'll always be someone who will listen and support. Are you on AD's for relaxation. Do you see a counsellor/Dr. Everything helps when you reach out and learn to trust. Would love to learn more about you. Please feel free to write back. There are some pretty awesome people here who have been where you are now.

Lynda.

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

Evie79 — Tue, 24 May 2016 00:35:48 GMT

Hi Lynda,

Thanks for the reply!!! That is horrible what happened to you I'm very sorry to hear that. It's great to hear that you are getting better.

When I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at first I thought my hormones were all over the place and thought I was on the verge of early menopause cause the anxiety or panic attacks would occur whenever my monthly was due so went to docs had tests done and all come back clear which was great, but wasn't expecting them to say you have depression and anxiety 😞

my first daughter was 5 when I was diagnosed and she is 13 now so I have been dealing with this for many years now and I'm sick of it!!!

I had some family issues (hubby) wasn't sure if I still loved him as we were always arguing about money as he wanted me working but I thought I couldn't at the time as I was scared I was going to have an attack and look silly. So it took me awhile to get on the right medication and to accept my illness.

I was getting very frustrated with my husband as he was trying really hard to help me, but he kept saying " you need to snap out of it" and occasionally he still says it. But as you know is easier said than done and they wouldn't understand.

Im glad that I got the courage to register myself on this site as I kept saying to myself " no I don't need that, there is t anything wrong with me"

im the type of person that would lend a hand at the drop of a hat, and then when it came to me needing help no one would offer. I also had a stalker on social media that was really nasty, so I was scared to leave the house for about a month.

I hope that gives you an insight of me and hope to hear from you soon xx

Evie

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

blondguy — Tue, 24 May 2016 01:13:16 GMT

Hi Evie79

I am sincerely sorry that you have anxiety/depression...Not a nice place to be in at all. My name is Paul and had my first mega anxiety attack years ago and then the depression came to the party..ugh! I have been on AD's since 1997 which have been a huge help and gave me a platform on which I could heal further.

You have great courage and strength to have posted on the forums Evie and good on you. There are many super kind people here with similar issues.

With all respect to your husband I have a little quote I find handy when people I know just 'dont get it'....as depression is an illness just like diabetes or heart disease....

"Expecting positive thinking to cure depression is like expecting a person with diabetes to lower their blood sugar level by thinking happy thoughts"

Of course a positive mindest does help...but over the years I have found this helps me out...its only my opinion

You are more than welcome to post as many times as you wish Evie

My Kind thoughts for you

Paulx

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

pipsy — Tue, 24 May 2016 11:28:37 GMT

Hi Evie, Nice to hear back from you. Having a stalker would've freaked you out. Being told to 'snap out of it' is really like waving a red rag to a bull. People often say that, thinking it helps, all it does is send you scurrying. Where are you now with your depression, are you coping? If you're still having set-backs, there are ways you can overcome this. First you need help from Dr's. AD's will help relax you too. If you can get a referral to a counsellor/therapist for skills to overcome the dark clouds that envelope you, that's major in coping. Another thing to help is small steps to start. By that I mean, if you're having problems with getting out of bed, try giving yourself a treat when you do accomplish this. Sometimes getting up is major. Each time you manage to go for a walk, treat yourself. Keep a journal of your accomplishments so when you find yourself back-tracking, read your journal of where you are now, as opposed to where you were. With work issues, if you feel comfortable, part time work, or volunteer work to give you the confidence to build up to where you feel you could handle a full time job. When you feel depressed, sometimes work is good therapy, other times it can back fire if you take on too much, too soon. Do what you're comfortable with, not what others tell you. You're you, they're not.

Lynda.

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

Evie79 — Tue, 24 May 2016 11:34:44 GMT

Hi Paul,

thankyou for reading my post and thankyou for welcoming me and your kind words.

I love the quote that you shared with me, and it totally makes sense.

im hoping to make some friends aswell.

Thanks again Paul

hope to hear from you soon xx

happy thoughts

Evie xx

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

Evie79 — Tue, 24 May 2016 11:56:32 GMT

Hi Lynda,

Thankyou for replying to me, as much I I want advise and ways to deal with my situation I really like to make friends aswell. Because I only have a small amount of friends and I find I can't talk to them about things. I find that if I go to bed too early that I'm awake all night and then I'm stuffed the next day, so my husband gets cranky with that, and I know that my biggest thing is that I like to have a few reds of a night time which I know I shouldn't be having but it somehow relaxes me.

I have tried listening to relaxation music when I go to bed which sometimes helps, but I have also found whenever there is a full moon my anxiety is horrible, I finally drift off to sleep then once I've finally fallen asleep I somehow get startled and jump and wake myself up, I get restless and get hot and cold sweats and get very fidgety. It's bloody annoying.

With the work situation I've had a few jobs since I've had depression, most of the jobs were part time but there were days that I couldn't go in because of my anxiety and restless nights , and I'd lose my job.

Sorry!!! But I need to ask am I saying to much in here or not?

Anyway I will leave it there for now 😀

thanks for listening ( or reading) hahaha!!!!

Hope to hear from you soon xx

happy thoughts

Evie xxxx

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

geoff — Tue, 24 May 2016 19:28:02 GMT

dear Evie, never feel as though you're saying too much, that's not the problem but your depression and anxiety are what is causing you to feel this way.
The biggest trouble is that you have to accept that you do have depression, because being in denial only confuses the situation and also prolongs the beginning to any treatment, but when your husband says 'snap out of it', what does that actually mean, to be able to go along with what he wants,or just pretend all the time that you are OK.
It would be difficult for him to help you if that's how he feels, in other words it's not the appropriate type of care you need.
When you are feeling this way it's so hard or even impossible to be able to show your love or to continually tell him that you love him, even though you do.
I also wonder how your daughter has been treated, because at 13 it can be a difficult age with so much going on and learning with so many questions to ask.
Can I ask about any treatment you are getting and also about the stalker, but won't unless you want me to. Geoff. x

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

blondguy — Tue, 24 May 2016 19:44:35 GMT

Hi Evie

Thankyou so much for posting back and your kind words too 🙂 You are not saying too much at all. You can talk about what you are comfortable doing so. I used to get those hot & cold night sweats a few years ago and they were a pain. The anxiety (adrenaline flow) can wake us up at night and keep us in a state of 'over awareness' by having poor quality sleeps leaving us exhausted the next day.

If I may ask Evie, do you suffer from anxiety everyday where it effects you in traffic or frequently in certain situations?

Lynda is gem and has some excellent advice I read above. I was initially put on AD's to take treat the chronic anxiety I was having. It was awful. I gave my doc a hard time as I was anti-meds but after my female GP read me the riot act I have found them a great tool which have helped me re-build.

You attitude is a breath of fresh air. You are a self aware, intelligent and well articulated person.

My Kind thoughts

Paulx

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

Evie79 — Tue, 24 May 2016 21:53:31 GMT

Hi Geoff,

i would like to know what you meant by how my daughter has been treated?? My daughter is treated like any other 13 year old. But this isn't about my daughter this is about me.

Thanks

evie xx

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

geoff — Tue, 24 May 2016 23:21:20 GMT

hi Evie, I'm sorry if I have upset you and I meant nothing untoward by saying that, it was just to see how she is coping, because when anyone of us has depression we can tend to close off from those who we love.
It was not as a derogatory remark so I apologise immensely.
I realise that this is your post and a concerning one, and all the attention should be related back to the person who has posted their comment, and on this occasion, it's you, and I feel very sorry that you have suffered from depression and anxiety for such a long time, as I know personally that it restricts what we can do.
Please accept my upmost apologies. Geoff. x

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

blondguy — Wed, 25 May 2016 09:52:53 GMT

Hi Evie

I was just popping in to see how you were traveling.....I woke up wide awake this morning at 4:45am...ugh! and sent the post above to you.

Hope you are doing okay

Paulxx

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

Evie79 — Wed, 25 May 2016 10:52:06 GMT

Hi Paul,

im doing pretty good today thankyou, been keeping busy looking after my husband as he has severe bronchitis. I hate when you can't sleep it wrecks you for the next day and you can't be stuffed doing anything 😞 but unfortunately you have to try to solider on especially when you have kids.

I HATE ANXIETY it is the worst feeling in the world and you feel like you are going to die, would not wish this upon my worst enemy.

As I said before I am so glad that I am part of this journey because it takes a lot of guts to do something like this and I'm thankful that I'm going to meet friends on here with the same or similar minds.

Would just like to know if you can chat to people about their interests etc???

Happy thoughts 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

Evie xxx

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

pipsy — Wed, 25 May 2016 10:55:13 GMT

Hi Evie. How goes it? The insomnia can be unbelievable, I suffer it too. You start to fall asleep, so off to bed you go, only to 'wake up' the minute your head touches the pillow. You seem to spend the rest of the night trying to go back to sleep. The harder you try, the more wide awake you become. It's a vicious merry-go-round. I find I'm tired during the day, but wide awake most nights. As you said, you wake up and you start fidgeting. You mentioned in an earlier post your hormone levels seem fine, suggesting early menopausal symptoms are not causing your anxiety. I'm wondering, though, if there could possibly be a hormonal imbalance. Even though menopause has been ruled out, imbalances aren't always picked up initially. Some of your symptoms seem to suggest a hormone problem (not necessarily menopause) but if there is an imbalance, you maybe need to get reassessed. Is your blood pressure okay? You've had this 6 years, obviously something has been missed. With all due respect to Dr's, they're not infallible. Perhaps a reassessment of your AD's to start with, then maybe check your hormones for an imbalance. You get agro, which indicates mood swings, again, hormonal. AD's can cause problems in the hormone department, they sometimes cause menopausal symptoms. Are you suffering headaches?

Hope you don't mind the questions, I'm 65, so hormonal problems, been there, done that, so to speak. Maybe a female specialist might be of assistance.

Lynda.

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

Evie79 — Wed, 25 May 2016 11:51:52 GMT

Hi Lynda,

i still believe to this day that I have anxiety because of hormone imbalance, I am on blood pressure tablets due to slight high blood pressure. I'm at the point in my life that I want to go get a hysterectomy I have enquired about it but the docs say I'm too young... I'm 36 but I am not having any other children, and a few of my friends who are in their 40's have had the same symptoms with anxiety etc and have had the hysterectomy and they say that their anxiety has gone and they feel great.

I had one doctor say to me when I asked her about it " that's a bit extreme isn't it" I just want it gone like everyone else.

I do suffer from headaches too.

Thankyou so much for listening and giving me hope xx

happy thoughts

Evie xxxx

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

blondguy — Wed, 25 May 2016 12:16:35 GMT

Hey Evie

I hope your husband gets better...bronchitis is a mongrel.

I agree with you about anxiety being the worst feeling in the world..It is..but more on that later if you want to know more about it. These forums are rock solid secure so you can discuss what you wish to....its your thread:-)

Being a 'public' forum your privacy is paramount here so you are more than safe to have a chat about anything you wish that we can help you with. Like you said..even your interests too...The forums are made up of people just like you with similar health issues 🙂

The BB Cafe is also open for anyone if you just want to say hello and pull up a bean bag....anxiety and the pain it gives us seems to be very common on the forums..

(Hug) for you.. if thats okay of course

Paul xx

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

pipsy — Thu, 26 May 2016 09:01:08 GMT

Hi Evie. There are so many things I would like to say, but I know I can't. One thing I would like to suggest, is to ask your Dr for a referral to a gynaecologist, preferably female. Females tend to be more understanding when it comes to discussing 'women's problems'. Male gynaecologists are good, but quite often a woman would tend to feel more at ease talking to another woman. If you need an internal examination for instance, a male might make you feel a bit uneasy. No reflection on the male, but I know with me, I always preferred a woman when I had to be examined internally. If you're on AD's these could be causing problems with blood pressure etc.

Lynda.

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

Evie79 — Thu, 26 May 2016 12:35:06 GMT

Hi Lynda,

hope you are having a great day, and you suggesting a gynaecologist is a great idea I will be looking into that for sure.

I think this week I've been a bit on edge, my eldest daughter had a sleepover party last Friday, went to pick her up on Saturday at 11 and apparently the girls went for a walk and were only meant to be 10mins, but in that time ( there was 4 girls) they separated so two went one way and the other two went another way, the two that got lost was my daughter and a friend so I was stressing massively as it took a good half hour before they found their way back. I lost my shit!!! Because we are trying to tell her that there are bad people out there in the world and we are trying to protect her, but we still want her to have that independence so I really don't know what else to do.

Look, my head is telling me to trust her to have her independence but my heart is still telling me otherwise. She has just stared high school and have already had dramas with some girls, but I'm not 100% sure on the friends that she has chosen.

I actually suggested to my hubby that we have her friends that she hangs around with come around for pizza and just hangout so that we can see if she has made the right chose of friends.

Can I ask for your opinion please Lynda. Cause I'm at wits end and I don't know what else to do.

I really look forward to hearing from you too

I am so grateful for your kind words and your advise because it means a bloody lot xxx

love evie xxxx

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

pipsy — Fri, 27 May 2016 04:39:11 GMT

Hi Evie. I totally appreciate where you're coming from freaking out over your daughter deciding to separate and find an alternate way home. Not knowing where she was, as you say, today's lifestyle is so different to how it was when you were younger. You, like me, probably 'did as you were told, when you were told'. Kids today don't seem to have that same respect, they tend to 'roll their eyes heavenward and groan' when told to behave. Having a few of her friends over for a sleepover/pizza/movie night is a great idea. At 13, they seem to believe they have all the answers. It's such a difficult age, both for them and parents. Meeting her friends, talking to them, encouraging them to speak about their hopes, dreams. How they're coping at school etc. May I say something here is support of Geoff. He is a wonderful, caring person, who has your best interests at heart. His concern over your daughter was simply that, concern. You are in a emotional situation, coping with a 13 year old when you're so vulnerable, can often make things harder, trying to understand her fears regarding school etc. He meant no disrespect at all. Without his never-ending support, encouragement etc, I couldn't help you. He was the one who got me where I am today. He has always been there for me.

Lynda.

Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

blondguy — Fri, 27 May 2016 09:49:09 GMT

Hi Evie

Just seeing how you are traveling and hope you are doing reasonably okay. I see that Lynda has been here as well...I actually learn a lot of Lynda's posts....she is a legend!

Paul