topic Needing Guidance! in Welcome and orientation

Needing Guidance!

ozzy07 — Thu, 19 Jan 2017 11:59:23 GMT

Hi everyone im new here im an expat moved to Istanbul- Turkey. 4yrs married no kids TTC with no hope atm. found out husband was cheatıng on me last year .ı have an metally abusive mothinlaw. she lives with us so my daily life is hell. 2016 was a very hard year for me had a lot of grief & loss, my father had a heart attack and with the attempted co-op + teror attacks going on here ive been very afraid, i love Istanbul so ı dont want to leave either.ı have nocturnal panic attacks where i wake up at around 2am tıll 4am cold and heart pounding and a feeling of death hits me my husband fast asleep ı start prayıng and try to go back to sleep only hours later ı lıtteraly passout and go to work ın the mornıng draıned no energy. ı have no family as mum and siblings are in Melbourne mum has postnatal depressıon so cant really talk to her for advıse.. ı dont know how ı will cope with all this but im a fighter from birth and i know there is light at the end of every tunnel. ı was born and raısed ın Melbourne , Australia so ı know ıts best to reach out to people who wıll understand me better.

Needing Guidance!

Starwolf — Mon, 23 Jan 2017 04:17:40 GMT

Hi Ozzy, good to meet you.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns. I hope you will find some measure of solace in connecting and interacting with members of this community.

Are you presently undergoing treatment for those panic attacks ? Those are symptoms of a medical condition and should be considered and treated as such. Are you in regular contact with your siblings ?

Living with the constant threat of terrorism must be very scary indeed. I once stayed 4 months in Istanbul but it was many years ago. Terrorism hadn't raised its ugly head. I loved the city too so can understand your reluctance to leave. It must have changed a lot but I remember it as lawless and magical...a city with charisma.

Living with an abusive mil is no great arrangement. And I guess your husband has the final say in this matter...There is a lot on your plate at the moment. I'm not sure at all how to help as I have no idea what kind of support would be available to you locally.

It seems those around you are neither offering support nor treating you the way you deserve to be treated. But only you can examine the future of this relationship and your position within it.

I hope to read more from you so that we can figure how best to help/support you.

Kindest thoughts.

Needing Guidance!

ozzy07 — Wed, 25 Jan 2017 14:03:48 GMT

thank you so much starwolf for your reply

at the moment its better here but to cooup attempt and terorsım was very scarey.

ı do love this city and dont want to leave but ı do feel fearfull for my lıfe.

ı myself havent reached out for help around here as ı work very hard and dont seem to have tıme from home and work chores.

ı have a dr. appointment for 1st feb. to get my heart checked out. other than that my husband has spoken to my fil to get her off my back and we have made the decision to move out away from her.

she has gone to her sons house sınce last nıght and ı had a very good sleep no attacks .

ı speak to mum and dad and my brothers constantly- mum and brother wıll be comıng ın june for a holıday wıth me and ı wıll have 1 week off work to holıday wıth my mum. ıts great to speak to someone who knows the cıty ım ın love with 🙂

Needing Guidance!

Starwolf — Wed, 25 Jan 2017 23:41:49 GMT

Thank you for replying.

It is good to know your situation has improved and that your husband has been supportive. Having your own space sure will improve your lifestyle.

As for terrorism...such senseless cruelty is beyond words. I have an idea of what you are going through as I lived almost a decade in Sri Lanka and South India at the height of the Sinhalese/Tamil conflict. I have lost friends and acquaintances and they have lost family members and/or everything else due to bomb attacks. How does one prepare for random acts of violence ??? Those feelings of insecurity can leave deep emotional scars so please take good care of yourself and do not hesitate to make time for professional assistance if you need it.

I once suffered anxiety so I am wondering if having your heart checked has something to do with it. I do remember rushing to hospital a couple of times, convinced I was having a heart attack. Only to be given the all clear. It was years ago but those feelings stay clear in one's memory !

Istanbul has certainly left its mark there too. I spent many hours walking around the Topkapi Museum, day after day. So fascinating it was hard to keep away from it. I heard parts of it had been ransacked years after I left the city so I feel privileged to have visited it before then. I loved wandering around the bazaar, still cherish an intricate filigree silver bracelet I bought there. And what about the breathtaking magic of the Blue Mosque...this also is beyond words, though for different reasons !

I still can hear the 3 distinctive notes of ferries coming to dock around the Galata bridge...

I bet there will be a happy catching up in June. Having strong family links makes things a lot easier, doesn't it ? Thought nothing can replace face to face communication. You must feel very isolated at times...

My thoughts and prayers are with you.